Does anyone resent the fact that they are autistic?

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King Kat 1
Toucan
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13 Apr 2024, 7:44 am

In a word, yes. I feel I was robbed of a normal childhood, and it's held me back in my adult life. The social awkwardness, being bullied (not as much these days), not being able to connect with people, always afraid of saying or doing something "wrong" and being treated like am "slow".

As of now I am not diagnosed officially but everything I've read on autism explains my life to a T. So, I feel at least now I know why I am the way I am.


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flat_affect
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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13 Apr 2024, 9:15 am

I didn't think I had a huge problem with my past experiences related to being autistic ... until I melted down in my therapist's office. It was supposed to be a treatment planning session and she asked me what my goals are. I said I wanted to be more accepting of myself and others and stop assigning blame to people who are unlikely to have acted with malice. I then went on a tangent about obvious examples of autistic behavior and how I was scolded and shamed for it, while no one seemed interested in why I might be acting that way. That led to me lamenting how pathetic I feel for having been in my forties before I understood that when people ask things like, "How are you?" or, "How are you doing?", they don't actually want to know how I'm doing. By that point, I was rocking and wringing my hands and I lost the ability to speak.
So, yeah, apparently I'm still a bit resentful.


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__Elijahahahaho
Blue Jay
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13 Apr 2024, 9:38 am

I am happy with who I am, but my actions of spending inordinate amounts of time
trying to compensate thanks to feeling threatened contradict this...

I was happiest up until about the age of 22 when I didn't really know but could only
guess something was a bit wrong.
If the world was more accepting I would have no problems, but now I feel I have no
choice but to learn NT ways, which I do resent.

A mix.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
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13 Apr 2024, 6:06 pm

I've been on the spectrum since I was 13 and over the course of time
have accepted it as a part of my human essence.


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elotepreparado
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15 Apr 2024, 5:47 pm

Sometimes I resent the way I act or do certain things. Some of that might be related to my autism but it is also a mix of my upbringing and my personality. I wish I had more control