Big Meltdown ( someone to talk with please)

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I was concerned I scared myself today, getting ready to go out. I know it sounds trivial and very immature at my age, the town I live in is replacing pipes and they are digging right in front of my house, my father and I couldn't get out, then I tried to go with my aunt in her car but the batter died, being delayed about 2 hours. I don't know if it's being on the spectrum controlling our emotions, but I felt a lot bothering me personally, feel I can't do right with my dog, or relationships in general for years, the issues with not really having a mother due to her illness that bothered me, since I was a kid so I lost my temper punching the door, swiping things off my desk. I was scared because I am quick to either get emotional and cry ( all the events bothering me I see in pictures) or ''Hulk Out'' I feel paranoid as if something always goes wrong for me or not meant to work out, is it just a ''Aspie Thing'' or on top of that I developed small drops of PTSD? I am not trying to be something I am not but, but I see my cousins husbands, one is a firefighter, one is a intern doctor and pulls almost 24 hour shifts, on top of having a months old baby, and on my fathers side one of his cousins son is a cop, I am not jealous but it seems for others everything ''falls into place'' or they can deal with the world a lot easier, yet I struggle with internal emotional issues, are these meltdowns also like the way people have ''seizures'' ? I am sorry about the rant but I need someone to talk with

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. I do think that it's an ASD thing to sometimes feel overwhelmed and react badly. Then you feel terrible because you wish you had handled it differently, but in the moment you couldn't, or you would have. I would say go easy on yourself rather than blaming yourself or comparing yourself to other people. You are you and you have your own challenges that are not the same as other people's challenges.

I don't know if it would maybe help to see a therapist, especially if you think you have PTSD, to see if you can work on ways to react more calmly to stressors.