preoccupation with the past

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ever since i was young, been obsessed with the past.

bad at forgiveness.

thinking about statements and actions that someone else, or i myself, made that they or i , should not have made.

thinking about ways that precious lil "people" showed that they didn't care about me, or that they saw me as public enemy number one, or anything like that.

mostly obsessed with the precious lil "people" that put on a farce/facade of "we care about you", but they were not willing to accept the slightest thing that i did, just b/c they did not "like" it. meanwhile, they had the nerve to insist that i just accept whatever they did, even if i did not "like" it.

Ah yes Flashbacks, something i deal with multiple times a day. Dumb stuff I said or did, overreacting, but also the sh***y way people treated me, always getting yelled at, talked down to, and being bullied well into adulthood.

The whole " If I do it, its ok but if you do it, then you should be tarred and feathered. I hate mankind sometimes.

You can try to change your thinking and become more accepting of people's flaws and more forgiving, not just for them (or not for them all if you think they don't deserve it), but for yourself, because you can find peace that way.