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shortfatbalduglyman
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12 May 2024, 9:04 pm

Who or what destroyed your life?

Or is your life not destroyed?



justkillingtime
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12 May 2024, 9:53 pm

father


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Fnord
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12 May 2024, 10:33 pm

As long as I remain alive, my life is not "destroyed".


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Edna3362
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12 May 2024, 10:39 pm

As long as I can fight it, I refuse to be 'destroyed'.


My life is currently going uphill.

From being in a slow and painful decay in futile effort to preserve it in a tiring endless battle with myself -- to being finally remade, for better and stronger, in a marathon length momentum.


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utterly absurd
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12 May 2024, 10:48 pm

My life is not destroyed, but if there's one thing that did the most damage, it would be covid.
There were times when I really thought I would never recover from those years.


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IsabellaLinton
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12 May 2024, 10:55 pm

My ex-husband. Although he was worth marrying so I could have my exact same kids, he turned into a litigious POS who has cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars (in debt) on legal fees, and worst of all he's hurt, neglected, and terrorized my kids their entire lives while being court-ordered to leave them the hell alone.

Sexual violence.

Overall, the legal system regarding family law legislation, criminal victims' rights, children's rights, and the lack of special needs accommodations.


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auntblabby
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12 May 2024, 11:05 pm

too many things. i'm still here but a key [astrological potential] part of me was beat out of me long ago.



bee33
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12 May 2024, 11:47 pm

My chronic illness. ME/CFS, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome. I has taken away 90% of what makes up a normal life and it drags me down every day.

But there's more than that that is wrong with me. I find everything to be a struggle and I can't just be, because everything is hard and I am always having to battle with just living day to day and getting through the day. So there's that too, though it's hard to know how much of it is exacerbated by being exhausted all the time.



IsabellaLinton
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12 May 2024, 11:52 pm

^

@bee33,

I went to my doctor with a long print-out about ME/CFS to show I had nearly all the symptoms. I'd say 95% of the symptoms. She said "Oh! You definitely have it. It's in your records already. Didn't you know?"

Well now I know. I always thought it was "just" burnout.

My daughter has Fibro, which as far as I can understand is the same thing but with more pain. ME/CFS is more fatigue than pain.

I'm sorry you're dealing with the same thing. It's really overwhelming and affects the whole body.


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Fnord
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13 May 2024, 12:03 am

To paraphrase Friedrich Nietzsche: "That which does not destroy me has made a grave tactical error."

I am a survivor, not a victim.


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IsabellaLinton
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13 May 2024, 12:09 am

^

A person can be a survivor and still have lasting damage to their lives, especially if their kids have been hurt or they have lasting physical and psychological injuries.


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Fnord
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13 May 2024, 12:15 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
A person can be a survivor and still have lasting damage to their lives, especially if their kids have been hurt or they have lasting physical and psychological injuries.
100% agree.  I did not mean to imply otherwise.

The phrase "I am a survivor, not a victim" is what I recite to myself to keep moving ahead.  Another mantra is, "Don't ever give the bastards reason to believe they've won".  I draw strength from knowing that they couldn't defeat me forever.


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IsabellaLinton
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13 May 2024, 12:26 am

OK thanks for clarifying. I try not to use either label. I just deal with the component parts as they come (e.g., anxiety, panic, pride, etc.) There's no shame in identifying as a victim if you're seeking support for victims' rights or trying to help other victims of crime. Being a victim doesn't mean the person isn't also a survivor. They're synonymous terms really.

I don't usually think of my life being "destroyed" and that's not a word I'd use, but those things did have the most negative impact of anything I've experienced and full recovery isn't possible for me. In that respect it has been destructive. Things that were once whole are now broken.


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JamesW
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13 May 2024, 1:59 am

Nothing. I'm still here.

In the context of autism, most importantly, I'm still just as autistic today as the day I was born. No more, no less. I just know more about it now.



shortfatbalduglyman
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13 May 2024, 5:30 pm

edna

"destroyed" or partially destroyed
______________________________________________________________________

utterly absurd

coronavirus did not affect my "life" in any significant way. not only that, but october 2020, i started working @ home depot and three and a half years later, still working there. that's, by far, the longest time i have held a job. (the second longest, age 18, cashier, five months.) right now, 41. i did not get coronavirus.
______________________________________________________________________________

bee

i have been exhausted all the time, since around age 12 or so. do not have a diagnosis for chronic fatigue syndrome or anything like that. does not mean that i do not have that condition.
_________________________________________________________________________________

things that partially destroyed my "life" thus far:

autism symptoms, not getting diagnosed until 21, parents, teachers, strangers, whoever's making fun of my autism symptoms, blaming me for autism symptoms

20 years ago, san diego was so homophobic, while i presented as male (hair and clothes) and i am female

academic dismissal, ucsd, structural engineering

getting made redundant from three minimum wage jobs on the third days ("not a good match" does not tell me what i did wrong.)

clinical depression/anxiety

parents insisting that i just "had" to be a child prodigy

bullying



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13 May 2024, 7:11 pm

Conception.


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