Just began understanding myself as autistic

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15 May 2024, 5:05 pm

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I just began understanding myself as autistic after an exhausting period of research and introspection that I don't need to say more about because most of you probably went through something similar.

I'm 62, also diagnosed with ADHD (at age 7) but the autism thing came as a surprise. I guess I didn't really know what it is all about. I still don't know, exactly, so I'm hoping joining this community helps me learn about who I am and how to get along in the world.

My main challenges nowadays are social. I was married for 20 years but our marriage ended 10 years ago when I began understanding myself as trans and did a gender transition (yes, I'm just a heap of challenging identities). I've been single since then, tried online dating (queer women my age not too keen on dating trans people, I'm learning) and find it super challenging to make connections with people just going about my life. If anyone has any tips on how to navigate the world as an autistic, queer, old person, I'm all ears.



Double Retired
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15 May 2024, 5:16 pm

Sorry, I've got no answers. But I do have a "Welcome to WP!" for you.

P.S. I was diagnosed as Autistic shortly before my 65th birthday. By then the information was really only of use in explaining what I'd gone through in the previous decades.


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BTDT
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15 May 2024, 5:31 pm

Welcome!

I told my wife I as transgender before we got married but we still got together for 15 years until she passed from ALS.
She was convinced I had autism but these days I think it is because my hard wired body language is female rather than male. The mismatch is gone now that I present female!

Men and woman are judged by much different standards. The most obvious one being tall if you are a guy!
Short guys are pretty much ignored on dating apps. Of course it helps to be pretty if you are a girl. And wealthy if you are a guy. I heard in China guys don't care how much a girl makes.

I think many women think I'm smarter if I dress well. More inclined to ask for my advice.
I've been buying better clothes that fit nicely.



autisticelders
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15 May 2024, 6:01 pm

welcome! diagnosed with autism at age 68 and it was a huge relief. I finally had the answers to lifelong "why" questions of the past. Diagnosis gives us a whole new perspective on just about everything.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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15 May 2024, 7:23 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :)


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utterly absurd
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15 May 2024, 7:43 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!


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Tim_Tex
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15 May 2024, 8:54 pm

Welcome to WP!


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MoeTrashPanda
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16 May 2024, 8:16 am

Welcome to the Wrong Planet!

Sounds like you have been on a journey to find your true self. I hope that it brings you happiness. My partner is also trans/nonbinary person, and I am a queer cis-woman. I suppose I am a younger queer than the queers you are courting, but I promise we exist! I'm sorry you've been having trouble finding love in our queer community.

I don't have much advice besides keep being yourself and exploring your identity, interests, and becoming happy with yourself. Focus on your well-being, hobbies, and being comfortable with the idea of being single, and hopefully the right person will come along when you least expect it.

What sort of interests/hobbies do you have? ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ


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