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Hiding diagnosis from NT girls

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babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 12:25 pm

honeytoast wrote:
babybird wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
NT women love guys who don't lie.


I only told my bf last week and I've been with him for 4 years. I wouldn't have said I lied to him for all those years I just didn't tell him and I only told him because my daughter wanted me to let him know about her diagnosis so I just did it in solidarity for her

Everyone has secrets it doesn't mean you're lying because you're keeping a secret from a person

Sometimes it's self preservation


I think there’s a difference between that and what OP wants to do. You aren’t wanting to kill yourself because you fail to get acceptance from others.


I've wanted out of this life on many occasions


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FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 12:28 pm

Yeah I wouldn’t mind getting hit by a car. My life is not worth living. Especially when I can’t be independent or get NT girls



babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 12:36 pm

I seriously hope you can find a way to change your future man

It's really hard I know


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funeralxempire
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01 Jun 2024, 12:46 pm

FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
NT women love guys who don't lie.

NTs lie too


They still don't like being lied to. People always excuse their own sh***y behaviour more than they'll accept the same behaviour from others.


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babybird
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01 Jun 2024, 1:11 pm

It's interesting in a sad way that FrostBender is striving to be the very thing that has made him feel so s**t about himself

I think I can relate to that on some level but I think I buried it a long time ago


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MaxE
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01 Jun 2024, 3:09 pm

FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
That's fine but you're going about it in a not so great way.

Speaking of jobs, it's highly unlikely you're going to get a job with that high of pay right off the bat. Or even finding one these days with that rate and landing an interview.

I already steal time from my current employer. Since society won’t allow me to get a higher paying job, I just steal from my current one. I know how to admin access the time clock and change punches.

So you're a criminal?

Don't assume you won’t get caught.


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blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 3:12 pm

MaxE wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
That's fine but you're going about it in a not so great way.

Speaking of jobs, it's highly unlikely you're going to get a job with that high of pay right off the bat. Or even finding one these days with that rate and landing an interview.

I already steal time from my current employer. Since society won’t allow me to get a higher paying job, I just steal from my current one. I know how to admin access the time clock and change punches.

So you're a criminal?

Don't assume you won’t get caught.


Not to mention he won't get a reference from his employer if they find out, or get a reference that indicates he might not be a good employee.



blitzkrieg
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01 Jun 2024, 4:32 pm

FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
I strongly insist that you seek out therapy, because I don't think any normal "strong" person will consider killing themselves over something that can be easily managed instead of lying to yourself and others around you.

Everyone lies to an extent. Do you think rich people got rich by being honest?

The only way I can possibly succeed is through lying and cheating


You sound like you have some very anti-social personality traits going on there.



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01 Jun 2024, 5:01 pm

FrostBender wrote:
honeytoast wrote:
Even NTs struggle with it.

NTs do not struggle with social interaction. It’s built-in. Just like a spider automatically knows how to build a web.


This is absolutely untrue and I wish people would stop repeating this rubbish. NTs very much struggle with social interaction (among other things) and social skills are very much not "built in". Social skills are learned over time. Period.



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01 Jun 2024, 6:30 pm

I think we all understand that you're frustrated by the way things are and you want to be different, but the reality is that we are who we are and the best way to cope in life and find peace and contentment is to learn to accept ourselves and work with that. Otherwise you're just hitting your head against the wall wishing that you could transform into another person, when none of us can. There's nothing wrong with you as you are, and you can find contentment just as you are.



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01 Jun 2024, 7:43 pm

bee33 wrote:
Probably not a good idea to go into a relationship and a marriage while keeping a big secret about yourself. It's not just a bad idea but also not really feasible.

Not that you would have to disclose your diagnosis on a first date or in a casual relationship, but if it's serious, it needs to be based on honesty and sharing of oneself.

From personal experience, even if the knowledge isn't shared due to ignorance of the reality of one's true self, it still can cause a whole bunch of problems later on.

I don't know that it's necessary to disclose immediately, but waiting too long causes problems and people are going to be upset over it.



FrostBender
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01 Jun 2024, 7:55 pm

bee33 wrote:
I think we all understand that you're frustrated by the way things are and you want to be different, but the reality is that we are who we are and the best way to cope in life and find peace and contentment is to learn to accept ourselves and work with that. Otherwise you're just hitting your head against the wall wishing that you could transform into another person, when none of us can. There's nothing wrong with you as you are, and you can find contentment just as you are.

Nah, rather mask and be fake.



bee33
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01 Jun 2024, 9:55 pm

FrostBender wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I think we all understand that you're frustrated by the way things are and you want to be different, but the reality is that we are who we are and the best way to cope in life and find peace and contentment is to learn to accept ourselves and work with that. Otherwise you're just hitting your head against the wall wishing that you could transform into another person, when none of us can. There's nothing wrong with you as you are, and you can find contentment just as you are.

Nah, rather mask and be fake.
Then why are you posting here about it?

Every single person has told you that's a bad idea. It won't work, and even if it did work it would still be bad, because you'd be faking your life.



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01 Jun 2024, 9:59 pm

bee33 wrote:
FrostBender wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I think we all understand that you're frustrated by the way things are and you want to be different, but the reality is that we are who we are and the best way to cope in life and find peace and contentment is to learn to accept ourselves and work with that. Otherwise you're just hitting your head against the wall wishing that you could transform into another person, when none of us can. There's nothing wrong with you as you are, and you can find contentment just as you are.

Nah, rather mask and be fake.
Then why are you posting here about it?

Every single person has told you that's a bad idea. It won't work, and even if it did work it would still be bad, because you'd be faking your life.

I dunno, it was really fun being so dissociated that I didn't realize that I had broken bones. /Sarc

Sometimes I genuinely wish that masking was a solution to these problems. But, that would have it's own set of issues.



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02 Jun 2024, 2:36 am

I'd like to get an nt perspective on this


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02 Jun 2024, 3:45 am

FrostBender wrote:
bee33 wrote:
I think we all understand that you're frustrated by the way things are and you want to be different, but the reality is that we are who we are and the best way to cope in life and find peace and contentment is to learn to accept ourselves and work with that. Otherwise you're just hitting your head against the wall wishing that you could transform into another person, when none of us can. There's nothing wrong with you as you are, and you can find contentment just as you are.

Nah, rather mask and be fake.


If you want to mask and fake you have to learn the craft. You should get out and learn that by study NT people in real life or by watching movies, soap operas and stuff like Big Brother on teve. Posting questions on an online community for autistic people will get you nowhere. Let me be honest with you: from what you have written here and the way you have interacted and responded to the advice people have given you are either a troll or you lack the social intelligence and skills to succesfully mask as NT. If you are serious, you should try therapy to sort out your thinking. It will make you stronger.


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