Need weight on my feet when i sleep; how to stop it?

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longtimeaspie
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04 Jun 2024, 12:14 am

I have had a "quirk" for most of my adult life where I've needed a weight on my feet when I'm in bed to feel comfortable and secure enough to fall asleep. I can nap on the couch without it and sleep all right, but to sleep all night, and be in bed, I have to have it. I want to stop it because I won't always be in places where I can put something heavy on the end of my bed, and went I travel to my friend's or moms houses, I only put my bag on when they've gone to bed because I'm self conscious about it. I think it stems from my childhood cat , he used to like to sleep on my feet and it always made me feel comforted and secure. He could be an ornery ol thing but I still loved him. <3

To get to the point: It not convenient anywhere outside my own house to have the weight, so I want to stop doing it. does anyone have any tips on getting myself used to not having it? I tried leaving the pillow (the weight) off one night and became insomniac and couldnt' sleep the entire night, even when I replaced it!

If anyone else is the same way i'd like to know.



IsabellaLinton
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04 Jun 2024, 12:19 am

I'm the opposite. I can't stand having anything on my feet to sleep. I need bare feet and they need to be uncovered, plus hanging off the end of the bed so they don't even touch the mattress. It's not very practical either especially when I'm freezing cold but can't stand to cover them.

I also have other sleep requirements which took several pages to explain in my ASD developmental history questionnaire. I think there were about 50 points that I explained in detail for my assessor, including multiple blindfolds, night guards, earplugs, weighted blankets, sedatives, etc.

I don't know what to say to help but just wanted you to know you aren't alone.


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naturalplastic
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04 Jun 2024, 7:10 am

Needing a weight on your feet to sleep is something that you view a childish thing you want to cure yourself of?

Not the worse thing in the world but I suppose you might need to outgrow it.

Try relaxation excercises maybe. Visualization.

Or try to figure out why you need a weight. Like what does it do for you psychologically? Make you feel safe maybe?



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04 Jun 2024, 9:24 am

*Gaiter sandbag*
I don't know how to change the habit, but here's a compromise.

Image


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utterly absurd
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04 Jun 2024, 11:37 am

I have a long list of specific conditions I need in order to sleep. I need a whitenoise machine, a weighted blanket, a sleep mask, and a room no warmer than 20°C. If any of these things is not present I sleep very little or not at all.
The way I deal with it is simply to always have these things when I travel.
Some things are easier than others. I have a whitenoise app on my phone I can use if I need to. If someone keeps their house too hot I ask them a few hundred times to turn it down, and if they don't I ask for every fan they have and open windows in the middle of winter. The weighted blanket is very difficult though. It takes up an entire suitcase which costs a lot more when flying. But it's that or not sleep.
Compared to that I don't think your situation is that bad. In most places there's usually something heavy around. And I don't think most people would judge you for it—people have all kinds of odd sleeping habits.
Unless you're planning to go to space or spend months in the wilderness studying animals, I think you'll probably be okay. Heavy things are fairly common.


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longtimeaspie
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04 Jun 2024, 5:56 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Needing a weight on your feet to sleep is something that you view a childish thing you want to cure yourself of?

Not the worse thing in the world but I suppose you might need to outgrow it.

Try relaxation excercises maybe. Visualization.

Or try to figure out why you need a weight. Like what does it do for you psychologically? Make you feel safe maybe?


I have already said that it does make me feel comfortable. and safe, yeah I guess in a way it does. Like I said, i think I associate it with comfort because of my cat laying on my feet as a little kid (only he died in 81; for many years after I didn't sleep with anything on my feet. So I dont know what's up with that.)

It's not that I view it as childish, it's that OTHER people view it as weird and childish. I don't want to deal with comments and looks from people about it; a couple people have already made comment about it in the past. I've spent my whole life trying to seem normal as possible, so needless to say I don't like that. If I knew no one cared, I wouldn't either and would put stuff on my feet everywhere I slept for the rest of my life. lol



naturalplastic
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04 Jun 2024, 7:42 pm

I can dig it. All of the talking points. Missing having a pet curl up at your feet...might well be the cause. Not only the emotional bond with the kitty, but...his body also acted as a hot water bottle.

Might try sleeping with an electric blanket (they tend to be wired so the foot is warmer than the part under your shoulders. Wouldnt give you as much love or as much weight as a pet, but it would give you warmth. Might do the trick.

If I were in college rooming with someone who wore weights on their feet I wouldnt judge, but I am autistic, other folks maybe yes maybe no. A member of the opposite sex spending night with you? Who knows? But you can always make up some story that the "doctor ordered me to wear this thing".



longtimeaspie
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05 Jun 2024, 5:29 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
I can dig it. All of the talking points. Missing having a pet curl up at your feet...might well be the cause. Not only the emotional bond with the kitty, but...his body also acted as a hot water bottle.

Might try sleeping with an electric blanket (they tend to be wired so the foot is warmer than the part under your shoulders. Wouldnt give you as much love or as much weight as a pet, but it would give you warmth. Might do the trick.

If I were in college rooming with someone who wore weights on their feet I wouldnt judge, but I am autistic, other folks maybe yes maybe no. A member of the opposite sex spending night with you? Who knows? But you can always make up some story that the "doctor ordered me to wear this thing".


The only thing that might "slide" that I can think of that I can use as a "cover story" would be using a folded quilt at the end of the bed. But that would seem weird in the summer! LOL Plus, I won't always for the rest of my life always be in places that have an extra blanket to do that with. And what if I'm sleeping on a couch or on the floor? Currently in my apartment I use a sleeping bag, so I don't even HAVE covers or blankets on the bed. LOL I just use a large heavy pillow from the 80s, as my weight. :)



longtimeaspie
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05 Jun 2024, 5:31 pm

belijojo wrote:
*Gaiter sandbag*
I don't know how to change the habit, but here's a compromise.

Image


<3 <3 <3 <3 so great! thanks so much! i will look into these :) and see if they will work for me or fit my needs as it were.

I'm laughin at myself, picturing me hiding these inside my bed or sleeping bag so no one can see em, and then surreptitiously sliding em on after I've gotten into bed. LOL that's exactly what I'd do, too! i'd probably be laughin to myself so much after i did that that i'd have a hard time getting to sleep! LOL