Is it normal to hate college?

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone. A bit of background info about me. I'm a 27 year old guy currently doing a course in a college that is for people with disabilities/medical issues.

Before this, I was in a more mainstream college for 4 years. These 4 years were without a doubt the most stress-induced, depressive, loneliest part of my life. I hated it so much. I couldn't fit in at all and can't think of one single positive experience that I had there. Apart from the gym. Didn't make any close friends. Couldn't attend any societies/clubs because of my crippling anxiety and money issues. Never even had a graduation there before. I don't feel sad about having left that place. Kind of relieved to be honest. It's not the place itself that was the problem. It was more the fact that I was so overwhelmed with the work and crowds. Those four years were a chore for me. It's crazy hard to balance work and 'having fun' especially someone like me who has autism.

Had to get this rant over with. It's been driving me crazy for so long. At least I'm happy where I am now. Has anyone else on the spectrum had experiences like these?

i really hated college when classes were more of a test of time management or some practical skill vs. instructing us on concepts and topics. it was annoying to have to go through the tedium of a class or a lab, especially if the work assigned required at least two people working collaboratively.
i really hated being torn between trying to appear like i could communicate well vs. focusing on the concepts and understanding what the class was attempting to teach, at a pace that was just too slow to be very stimulating. it was tough for me to let go of some of the maladaptive traits i held on to from high school and even earlier. nothing in high school seemed to require much thought.
i did find a lot of practice collaborating with on campus researchers, a lot of grad students might not be on the spectrum but there are a lot who might have other reasons for a lack of confidence in communication skills. i really liked working in research where the communication was direct, the goals were put in place by PIs, grant deadlines, and professors, things were very much structured and organized.

While I didn't hate college, there were a lot of people at college that I could've done without.

I lived away from home for Uni. I had a boyfriend at home, the guy I later married, and he very rarely went to visit me. I was sexually assaulted during O Week but was determined to stay. That made me terrified the whole time but I stuck to a very small group of people and we didn't really do anything but study or order bad pizzas and incur huge long-distance rotary telephone bills. I was heartbreakingly lonely for home. I didn't join any clubs or anything. It didn't even occur to me but I wouldn't have been comfortable anyway. Then I got married which was a big mistake but continued doing grad school part-time for several years. That was better because I didn't have to live away.

I'm glad you made the right choice to go somewhere that makes you more comfortable. I had no idea I had a disability at the time, or that alternative services might have been available.

Yep, yep yep. Those five years, college and then university were pretty rubbish for me too. I couldn't deal with the increased freedoms - I did better with the rigid structure of school days. I made very few friends, avoided the campuses whenever I didn't have lectures and soon started avoiding it even when I did have lectures. I just wasn't ready. There was other crap going on which had spun me out too so I wasn't in a good place mentally. And I didn't know I was autistic, I just thought I was useless. I felt totally isolated the whole time, very out of place among all these bright young things who seemed to be having the best time of their lives.

At the same time I was working at a cinema where everyone was an oddball and they accepted me in a way I've never felt accepted anywhere else. I should've quit higher education and gone into full time work, I think. Picked up study later on when I was ready for it.

normal，At least for me.

For me:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

College is weird. But you can make more money if you survive and get "that piece of paper".

I didn't like college at all. I found it stressful and was always scrambling, even though I managed to do pretty well academically. It felt chaotic and hard to manage. I'm just glad I don't have to go back.

It sucked for me too. I tried joining clubs, but I still couldn't make friends. I liked high school so much more, which is why I get angry when people criticize those who found high school to be the best time of their lives. They don't know what others' situations were; they just paint everyone with the same strokes.