Always scared

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I have an uneasy feeling most of the time that is anxious and scared, but more specifically if there is something actually scary I feel like I can't handle it.

I'm afraid of being in a car on the freeway, though I do it. Recently there was a terrible storm where I live, and luckily there was enough advance notice that I went and stayed at my boyfriend's house, and I wasn't scared at all while I was there, but if I had been home alone with the wind howling and the rain coming down in sheets, plus with no power for days afterward (and then being alone with my thoughts with no distractions like the internet and streaming shows), I would have been terrified. Not of what might happen, but of the feeling itself. It's like I'm terrified of being afraid. Scared of being scared. Anyone else?

It's a rarity for me to get scared.

But when I do..
I'm not scared at getting scared.

I get annoyed at getting scared at the wrong reasons instead.
I only give it a pass if it's understandable.

My brain or mind can overreact and be vigilant, while I'm impatiently waiting it to pass.

Because sometimes it interferes my thought processing, my sleep and rest, how I'd rather react... Overreacting in every tiny noise, in every tiny sensations it thinks it's a possible threat.
Even if it can aide learning for me to some extent, but it won't be useful elsewhere and it's annoying.

It's another story in scenarios when one is ought to be scared; to me it meant to be prepared, whatever that might be.



At some point I thought I'm scared of getting scared and I'm just great at avoiding it to a point that I'm way less worried than an average person.

Turns out it's not the case.
My sense of fear is actually screwed.

And I'm not stoic/numb/insensitive; the opposite even -- I'd openly express and strongly feel fear as much as other emotions do no matter how common or rarely occurring it is like happiness, anger, etc.

It's just that fear is actually a rarity for me.

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Yes scarey is a word am familiar with.. alot .. but ..Been taking health supplements that help anxiety ..
And After awhile , sometimes am able to let my Pragmatic sense come through..and it helps me too.
But If any number things that you do for your health can cause , some peeps to more suseptable to Anxiety / fear.
But Man O man ... I do hate huge storms that beat on your home place..And periodically have lost power . But keep a good old fashioned , transistor radio with a spare little battery for this pocket radio. And hang a flashlight upside down in my living room doorway . To appear occupied . but It always lovely if you have a Sweetie to keep one company !

I have general anxiety disorder and have felt a constant fear for forever. Medication has helped a lot to diminish that need for constant vigilance

I tell people I have lived my life in fear. Until my autism diagnosis I simply did not have understanding of the neurological struggles and trauma in my life up til that point and how they affected me day to day. Learning more about my autism, my own autistic neurology and being able to finally understand how my autism worked behind the scenes throughout my abusive and traumatic childhood and early adulthood. Things have got better as I have made self accommodations and have better understanding of why so many things make me afraid. I hope you find ways to go forward with better self understanding, self accommodation, and self care.

I have always been scared of being scared. I think it comes from bad experiences as a child where scary & traumatic experiences would repeat over and over again in my head and it was unbearable.

As I’ve grown up into a more stable environment being scared has less of an impact on me (things don’t seem to repeat in my head so much any more) I am still nervous about becoming scared though. I have trained myself to be a bit better by practicing watching horror films.

Little off topic ... but the old media adage..." If it bleeds it Leads" when your environment is constantly feeding you examples of things that are dramatically aweful for things to watch on this nEntire last few generations of Media veiwers
of course , you could easily increase fear and anxiety in the entire veiwing areas of the USA...in Generally .
Then you add , real life stuff. and , You end up programming people to react in certain ( ? controllable?) ways.
Maybe even if consistent diet of this bad media .. You might be able to control Peoples thoughts...?
( This definitely not Meant to Discount any ones , personal experience .)
But lots of people learn from what they grow up with ... and most people will lean towards what is familiar in their life.
Pattern matching possibly ...
[ Personal Opinion]
a Possible preserving factor about Autism is they have a specifically noted of over abundance of Neural Connections in their brain..Might be that the increased growth , may allow a Aspie to have a sort of ability to slightly re-learn some things , were as a NT
might not be able to overcome , cause effect cycle of early +++ years of childhood. Relearn some Patterns.??.maybe?
But Honestly , the things burned into my brain , did make it hard to even , think that a way could be ?

I guess I really thought that being scared all the time was the default for everyone, but that people were better able than me to set it aside and get on with things, but I guess not. There is not a moment when I don't feel on edge and overwhelmed. And I haven't suffered any trauma that has caused this.

I'm scared 24/7 but it's not related to being alone, the way it is for you. Mine is a combination of General Anxiety Disorder, CPTSD, PTSD, Agoraphobia, Scopophobia, Sensory Processing Disorder, and Mutism. It feels like constant anxiety or stress that I'm doing something wrong or I don't want to exist and be perceived wherever I am / whatever I'm doing. I always feel like I'm holding my breath waiting for something bad to happen or there's a gun at my head. Even when good things happen I'm worried about how long it will last or whether I even deserve it. This started when I was a toddler, long before any known trauma. I actually feel a bit better when I'm alone because I don't have to feel ashamed of myself as much.

^^^^^. ((( Isabella ))'..^^^^^

It's OK. No hugs needed, but thanks. I've felt this way so long I don't know anything else. I'm not even aware of it most of the time except that I'm inclined to avoid almost all human interaction and I have insomnia etc. It doesn't feel like "fear" although I suppose it is. It just feels like anxiety, 24/7.

I'm not exactly the life of the party lol.

Am considering that the above is most likely really really true ... and am not by any margin , claiming , that it can be a day to day..hour to hour thing..Sometimes even minute to minute ?...for myself ...AND WITH my experience level .
Of Lifes interactions ..Have become a fatalist .When Anxiety comes .. if smaller stressor , anxiety inducing circumstance.Can get caught offguard..but , Am not immune ,when you think of it from a third person..position
All these things that cause anxiety . can be mind numbing .. So If I step back ..alittle .can sometimes get the atitude
" So whats Next ? Are you gonna kill me. ( slowly or quickly ,I hope. " Have already experienced worse early in Life . And the
Doctors bless their hearts , did not say untill after I recovered .That I would have to live in a wheelchair and be a vegetable for life. Quoting the Docs , that spoke to my Mum after the big accident,that took years to get some recovery And tons of research to get best recovery I could. Then imagine someone you loved dearly being shot and bled to death by someone you thought to trust .And No legal redemption or justice .regarding it .
Am not pissing and moaning here.. But the degree of stuff my Aspie naivete has led me through.....
Physically in first major car crash.. Wished for years to be off to some place., heaven or hell ..due to constant physical pain,With brief intermissions , (when I would find a compassionate Doctor,up to years at a time who took their hippocratic oath seriously.)
So like I wrote : I get kinda stoic , or Stupid ? " But what in this world is worse ? ( death) ? ...
But since ,many years past , I still look for that one kind word or action , even just a smile..and try to hang onto the gratitude idea... , But it se3ms to make a difference if you are able to manage a true understanding friend or even 2 or a perhaps a sweety..helps my anxiety level . And the old adage: I was taught," that you will bring to yourself
what you imagine ..? " So I try not to decieve myself . But do try to keep a better veiw of things .And even privately
occassionally go back in my mind, to a time ,when I did not know people were trying being bad to me. And privately
try to dwell in that part of my mind, With my own special Interests, ..Sometimes its works,Sometimes not.

I'm also one of the scared types. My fear has to do with people. I'm scared of people. They're unpredictable. I never know what they're going to do or say to me. The things I mean by what they say is that they misgender me a lot. They also walk too close to me and say excuse me when I should be the one saying that. There's this one older man who goes into the cigar store where I buy my scratch n wins. He likes to get behind me and ask, "Are ya winnin?" I'm constantly looking around behind me so that creepy people like that don't take me by surprise. I'm not young, I am not a lady and I wish that older people would stop calling me that. I think they're trying to charm me out of Germany which makes it even more creepy. I don't talk too people much when I'm out. I'm afraid my voice will crack.

I can relate to very often, if not necessarily always, having a general fear that something bad will happen, and the anxiety has as much to do with fearing how I will deal with the bad thing than the thing itself. The huge volumes of information to which we are all exposed, is probably a more important factor than anything else.