When did you realize people don't like you?

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Seven.

Grade two. All of my peers kept telling me to have a bad day. Also, every year around Remembrance Day the kids in my SPED class would tell me, No Shelbys allowed and they changed my name to the word, Nazis. The first one who changed it from my name to Nazis was a girl who happened to be from Germany of all places.

First day of Kindergarten when my teacher picked me up by my ponytail and spanked me for playing with a boys' toy instead of playing House with the girls. That's when I realized I didn't fit in with other girls, and even the adults thought I was bad.

Prior to that I knew I felt different, but not necessarily hated.

After 75% of interactions.

I never quite did realise that. More a case of 2 groups, one that likes me, one that doesn't. The first group may be small and can shrink. I dismissed the second group as jerks, but these days I try to think of them as just different.

In Year 1 at primary school. I had not gone to kindergarten or pre-school so maybe that was why I had crap social skills.

Anyway, a girl named Emma invited our class to her birthday party at the beginning of the school year. I went, I had fun and I especially enjoyed the food (all things that were "junk food" that were not allowed at home). I may have gotten a bit hyperactive. I got a skipping rope as a party prize. I insisted on skipping straight away and I may have hit a few kids.

Afterwards there were more birthday parties. I was not invited to any but I knew they were happening.

I really feel for the other people in this thread.

That's awful. I'm sorry to hear it.

around 3rd grade.

I was 13. Almost everyone in my class didn't like me.

This is the 80s we are talking about. Back then BMX bicycles were popular, and I used to hang out with the kids in the neighborhood. Eventually they all started to dislike me.

When I was 16, some kids in my high school accepted me, up to a point. Many of them still disliked me.

When I was in college, no one wanted to hang out with me, so that's when I decided to be by myself.

All my life. Always been the outsider. As said in another comment: the friends you thought you had dissappeared when you switched schools.

I now found people that like me, because they are autistic too. And recognize the problems I have, because they have them too. Also due to internet I found other sciencefiction readers that take me seriously. Ok, being neurotyical and being a sciencefiction nerd overlaps.

Very early on. It's not so much people don't like me, I just don't feel I'm a friend material. I don't connect well with others so get left out.

When I got to secondary school, aged 11. I was ok making friends as a young kid, but when things got more sophisticated in the teenage years (in terms of social skills, clothes, hygiene etc.) I got completely lost and I was disliked because of it. I did manage to make some friends with other nerdy people though.

My husband is an aspie and can't get people to STOP liking him. He will even get to going into a fast food restaurant too much and find himself making an unwanted friend. Then he'll send me in, but it's no use. They recognize the order and smile warmly at me and give me kind messages to pass on to him. When I tell him, he'll cringe and say it's time to find a new restaurant.

A significant amount of my friends have ADHD, Autism and other disabilities. Many of them were diagnosed late. Usually I'm fairly understood these days. I know I can be myself around them and not be judged.

Ultimately, I think it's difficult to say when I started feeling like an outsider but I haven't felt like an outsider in ages.

I think maybe when I started taking ballet lessons as a kid? The girls in that class used to pretend I wasn't there. Then there was the school counsellor who yelled at me for not being normal. Or when I used to get in trouble with teachers for asking too many questions or giving answers that didn't neatly fit in the marking guidelines.

I was aware that I didn't neatly fit. That I would always need to translate my experiences somehow. Certain fictional characters helped though. Made me feel seen.

Last edited by Lost_dragon on 01 Oct 2024, 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It sounds like he's always casting charm person and can't turn it off.

That's relatable. I don't know if it's because I'm used to being disliked but I rarely get invested in other people or feel connected to them. I'm just glad I realized it early enough that I didn't spend most of my life with a chip on my shoulder about how everyone dislikes me when in reality it's a two-way street with me often not reciprocating or noticing that I should be reciprocating.