My parents work. They get their asses kicked by the capitalist system for a paycheck. They come home exhausted and overworked so they begin smoking and drinking and the last thing they want to see when they come home is me and my smiling face. I live on social security disability. They resent me because I have it too easy. They brush off my fair share of mental problems which are mostly PTSD from bullying. Even though school is far far behind me now, memories and resentment still linger. I still do chores, but because it's nothing compared to actual labor for a living, I get no credit and I'm treated like I do nothing all day. I take care of the pets and they can be more than a handful sometimes, but I do my best. It doesn't prevent the inevitable though when my pets do damage, make a mess, or get into trouble. Three crazy dogs and I can't get them to listen because I don't want to raise my voice. I hate screaming. I've done it for twelve years. I'm surprised I still have a voice. Anything goes wrong, my parents take it out on me because I'm the fat and lazy one. My money still helps pay the f***ing bills, but it wasn't money earned. I do so much for this family that I feel everything would fall apart if I disappeared one day. I don't have it easy. Maybe not as hard as my folks have it, but it's not easy.
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I am sick, and in so being I am the healthy one.
If my darkness or eccentricity offends you, I don't really care.
I will not apologize for being me.
There is no such thing as perfect. We are beautiful as we are. With all our imperfections, we can do anything.
08 Oct 2024, 2:39 pm
