AAAAAH!! ! Everything's freaky and a coworker is mean!

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I can't handle anything. I've got an easy job (8 years now), but I even have trouble with it I am totally doomed.

(I guess she thinks she's "above" me, because she makes more and has a fancier job, but whatever) The last few days a coworker has been sending complaints about me to my boss, I guess something to the effect that I'm not doing what she wants, or don't want to do anything or something. She's also sent out nasty (I think, because they're of it) emails to me cced to my boss, about all these supposed complaints she's hearing from people I'm helping (which is strange, because I've heard no complaints, and she's in another building, so how would she be getting these supposed complaints?)

I found out from my boss that apparently this woman thinks I'm "asking too many questions" and refused to print something for her. I do ask questions, and I do need to know WHY something is being done (and hopefully can make stuff work better because of that). And apparently that's bad.
The printing thing is stupid-I didn't "refuse" anything, someone asked me, and I would have asked who it's for and why-it's confidential information, and I can't just go randomly printing it for people-and SHE didn't ask me (I would have for her as she's got access to all of it and can give an okay).

I'm already freaked out about all this, and then I get a message from my BOSS this morning in email, saying I refused to update a webpage yesterday and that she was giving that work to someone else-only I hadn't gotten the original email until this morning! I talked to her (it said the right time, but I guess stupid Exchange didn't deliver it). She seemed okay after I explained it, but I mean I don't understand, I've never not updated a web page right away, I don't understand why she'd think I was not doing it rather than assume something had gone wrong with the email or something.

Then, an hour ago I get two people coming in here (it's a secure location) without keys. I have to have them sign in, but they both refused, I said well you can't be in here if you don't sign in, and they both started laughing and left. It all happened in less than a minute. My boss said I should have gotten her, and I mean I would have, but I didn't even have time to or to think of what to say-it was totally bizarre, but I'm probably at fault here too supposedly.

I'm screwed. I mean maybe not now, but at some point I'll lose my job, or my position will be cut, or whatever. I can't finish my degree, and if I can't even do this job that's sort of in a field that I like, it's over. I would be TERRIBLE at many jobs, and would make even less money than I do now anyway.

I *HATE* that if the world won't actually help me, they won't even give me some easy way to kill myself. Wonderful.

Sounds kind of like my job - no good deed goes unpunished. At least my coworkers and direct management are cool. It's our internal customers that suck. Right now I'm at a coffeehouse down the street from where I work because I'm so fed up I have to 'escape' for a little while.

I think every large employer has people that try to get ahead by backstabbing. Unfortunately us AS folks are easy targets for this. If you're using Exchange/Outlook you should be able to prove to your boss when you got the email. Take a screenshot of your inbox with the message in question highlighted showing the date/time you received it. I've had to do this several times.

As far as the people without keys, figure out what the policy is in this situation and follow it to the letter. Then if you get let go, you may have some legal recourse.

Hang in there!

I'm sorry this is happening.I dont know why we are targets but it appears that bulies dont "grow-up",they just get older and get promoted.Only suggeston I have is to document EVERYTHING.Date it,no detail is to much.If you feel safe with your manager,you can mention AS.It is dangerious but has one advantage....it freaks out management.They do not want to be caught in the middle of a law suit.If the manager tells this person to "knock it off",it may work.Some people thrive on bullying and can find sheeple who get a sadistic kick out of helping torture the "other".

I wish you luck.Try not to project to far into the future.You have a record of 8 years with this place.That makes it harder for them to justify firing you.

Thanks guys.

Unfortunately with Outlook, it's showing what's probably the correct time as when it was received. I even have a rule set up that alerts me whenever I get anything from my boss (I told her that), and I check my email quite a bit, so I'm pretty much sure it was the system and not me (and at any rate, I wasn't ignoring it).

I guess things have been going better the last few hours, but I'm still on edge. I've thought about telling my boss about AS the last few months, but I've wanted to get an official diagnosis first (and it sounds like there are downsides to telling people or getting a diagnosis). A consoler type person I know offered to talk to her maybe six months back when I completely freaked out because they were rearranging the furniture, but I guess he forgot.

They keep adding new little things we're supposed to do, and the problem is I can't remember tons of little things. I totally rely on my Palm and computer to remind me of this stuff, and even still it's getting hard when they keep adding on new things (and some of them pointless).

I wish I could win the lottery so I'd have a safety net and then I could just do my best and if I'm fired it wouldn't matter. My dog and I could just hang out. I am not successful at handling life, that's for sure

Wolfpup wrote:

My heart goes out to you. I was in just such a position and it was hell. The thing is, I loved my job and put my heart in it. I just couldn't deal with the constant changes in procedures. I had three bosses jointly. I was the Education Secretary for a hospital, my bosses were Nurse Educators. I didn't know I had Aspergers at the time and only found out after I quit last winter. They kept giving me more and more work, give me very involved projects and when I would ask when they wanted it they would say "yesterday". I even took work home. I kept a database of all the nursing staff in the hospital and had to keep all of their education hours updated. I only worked 20 hrs a week in the Education Dept (and 20 hrs in Patient Advocacy). It took nearly 20 hrs a week to keep the database up to date, and that was only a portion of what they expected from me. I almost had a nervous breakdown and quit after they threatened to put me on probation for 90 days and if I couldn't produce what they wanted, get rid of me. One of the things that apparently irritated them about me was my asking too many questions. I had to ask questions because their instructions were always so vague and uninformed. If I had known then, what I know now, (AS) it would have been apparent that the constant changes and poor communication were the problem, not me.

If you can trust HR, go to someone there. It sounds like your manager would not be a good one to discuss your problems with. Some places have employee advocates. Keep all of your emails and job assignments and keep good records of what you do and what time you start and finish. I know it's a lot of work, but if any thing happens you can have proof of your work ethic. They're not supposed to keep adding to your job description and responsibilities. That's not ethical.

This story really has me fired up. It makes me angry to see anyone being treated the way you are being treated.

hi wolfpup,

i can certainly relate to your situation. i have been there before. it sounds like someone is making trouble for you and going above you to your boss.

please don't let them psyche you out. your boss knows you are a good worker - they have known you for 8 years. the advantage is yours. talk with your boss. say you are upset by what has been happening and that you are devastated that if someone has a problem with you that they don't discuss it with you first!

most people are aware that e-mail isn't 100% reliable

try to remember the bigger picture - this should all blow over once you have demonstrated that you are not going to be an easy target.

The advice from cosmiccat and sepia is exactly right. If the company kept you on for 8 years they like your work. You can go to your manager and HR from a position of strength and tell them you feel you're being harassed by this person. It's a magic word that makes HR do things for the victim (you). As long as you're willing to work things out, you're the good guy.

Thanks everyone. So far northing's been too strange the last few days at work. Not helping my self confidence though

Hang on in there Wolf Pup and let us know if things start to get weird.

Agreed,they could be tryig to lull you into a false sense of security I hope not though.Just remember,anything that makes your tummy quessy,seems a little "weird",write it down.As my manager always used to say....document,document,document...thats how you cover your own hinney.