Should I feel bad for not having a moving out mindset?

Post Reply New Topic

I read a study in which 18% of 25 to 34 year olds are still living with their parents and struggling to have enough money to move out, rent or their own property. I sometimes feel "bad" because unlike my peers I haven't had an urge in my brain telling me to move out and continue to live with parents. None of them have spoken to me whatsoever about it. If I were to move out and rent somewhere, all the money would be put towards the rent and not afford anything else. I probably have enough to buy a small house but if I did, all the money would be gone.

The thing is despite this I do work and contribute to rent of the house where I live with my mum and partner. They've got no problem with me being there. I understand that other people in my family need their own space and that I'd have to fend for myself and self sufficient and not always have their grown up children still living there but if house and rent prices were not ridiculously high then maybe they would have left by now.

I do seem to think in the UK in particular, there is this mentality for people to buy their own homes and renting is sometimes frowned upon. I don't know if I am one of those people guilty for being comfortable in my parents homes and not willing to get a small flat.

I moved out when I was 22 but my brother did not.
When it was time for mom to move he wanted me to travel across the country and help him out!

Uh, no, I figured that it is now his responsibility after all those years of living there.

I only moved out at 24 to move in with my then-fiancé, to whom I am now married. Were I not married, I'd probably still live with my parents.

To be fair, this whole "move out as soon as you're an adult" phenomenon is not universal. My mom's family is from Brazil, and, from what I've been told, it's not at all uncommon for people to not move out of their family homes until marriage (and sometimes not even then! -- multi-generational homes are common, or at least more common than they appear to be in the U.S.).

My dad has also wondered about me transferring my job to where he lives and wondering if I'm happy with what I'm doing. I've explained to him I seem to be fine with my work and once think of getting a different job somewhere else but I seem to have little interest in moving on to another field of job. In the UK I work for a store called the works and did think about getting work in Waterstones but a part of me doesn't want to because I feel more customers visit the works and there are more staff whereas although Waterstones is an interesting bookstore they seem nearly always quiet with only a few people working there.

My dad seems to think my mum is finding hard with me living at hers when she hasn't got an issue with it and I seem to think if I move back to dad's, he'll sooner or later want me to start getting out as time goes on. I don't know what he wants, he seems to want me to move back his instead of me being on the other side of the river at mum's but then also wants me to leave for a place of my own when I don't particularly want to live in Essex or be in a place of my own there when I haven't lived most of my life in this county despite my dad having known my stepmum and her family since they met in 2011 I think.

A coworker of mine recently chewed me out for still living with my parents. I'm twenty-five and still live at home but not by choice. I very much want my own place but it's not easy finding stable employment that would allow me to rent. Sometimes overqualified. Sometimes underqualified. Never quite right.

My older sister is moving out, so the focus has been on her. I don’t feel pressured by my parents but I am judged by my friends and coworkers.

I want to run on my own schedule but I'm not fully sure if I can handle that responsibility. So, I can feel conflicted and stressed about it all but I'm trying not to overwhelm myself. I don’t really know what my next stages are going to be. Which is scary and it can feel like I'm doing everything wrong.

the only reason i want to move out is more so like parents will die or get older and older and not live forever so having somewhere to live is important since I am unable to work and wait times for stuff takes ages. if that wasn't the case I wouldn't see a reason to be interested in leaving home. unless it was abusive or the location was bad

I moved out at 25, couldn't afford to beforehand. I knew it .was time for me, as I needed to have my space and my own rules. No way I could live with my parents again, nothing against them but they drive me nuts at times

It'll be 26 for me unless something suddenly shifts in the next couple of months.

I'm hoping if my next interview goes well I'll be able to commute in the short term and then move. A lot of 'ifs' in that statement though, but I do want to find a way to move out relatively soon.

No, you shouldn't feel bad for living at home or not wanting to move out of your parents house. The economic climate is punishing for people on a low income who rent and mostly people on a low income cannot afford to buy a house, unless they have financial help from family, or some sort of inheritance.

Having said that, if your parents were to go into care due to old age, or die, you need to have a plan in place for where you are going to live in such a circumstance.