Women aren't attracted to autistic men

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I don't mean that women consciously think: "autism? Gross!" It's more the case that they turned off by attributes that are common in autism, like social awkwardness or lack of self esteem. I've heard many women share that what turned them off from some guy was that he was awkward.

I've often heard: "you have to be confident. Women like men with confidence." Everyone says that as if one could simply choose to be confident like it was magic. When someone has spent his entire life being told that everything he does or says is wrong or unacceptable, how do expect that person to "just have confidence"? Furthermore, even when an autistic person is feeling confident, we will not express that in the same way ballistic people do or expect others to. When I feel confident, I go around grinning like an idiot, and/or get carried away info dumping about some topic nobody else cares about. And sure enough, the result is always that I get socially penalized for it in one way or another. And, surprise of surprises, that leaves me not wanting to repeat the experience.

Is also like to add that this affects men in particular much more than women. To be clear, I don't mean to say that women on the spectrum don't face many challenges and even danger in many way. But in this very specific aspect, men do not care if women are shy, quiet, or awkward; they'll still approach them regardless. This simply does not work the other way around.

Your generalization of women is just sad and I hope it doesn't lead to you harming them as a result, because autistic people treated badly enough by the media as it is.

I agree and appreciate it. Being autistic puts us at greater risk of being taken advantage of, so keeping the temptation away is a protective factor.

Telling me that I just need to have more confidence has caused me to have even less confidence. I feel like I'm being blamed for lacking confidence & then I sometimes start dwelling on my lack of confidence. Plus some of the times I was told that I needed more confidence were times that I had acutely felt confident but still failed/screwed-up with various things.

I struggled majorly to get romantic relationships & I do think me being awkward & having poor social skills was a major factor but I also think being disabled was another major factor for me. What worked for me was seeking women who were also awkward & had various issues & problems since we could relate more.

From anecdotal and the limited research on this, there does seem to be evidence that autism is off-putting when looking for a partner

yeah but then again, there are millions of guys out there who are unattrative in one way or another.
so the scales might not be as strongly tipped against you as you think.

A very useful relationship skill is learning to listen to a partner.
Obviously you can't do that if you are constantly talking about your special interest.

I don't particularly care the latest trends. I prefer women who have some awkward quirks, as a find most "typical" people not as interesting.

Though something crossed my mind when I read your response: the women you're talking about might be the ones who are typically in social spaces where it's easier to meet people. Also, it's difficult for me to be the first to start up conversations with strangers. I think it's difficult for two introverts to meet without a third party to break the ice. I've found it easier to meet the kinds of women that interest me at work, though that carries it's own set of obstacles. Besides, it's seems everyone I meet there is already married.