Expressing what you need

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I have a lot of trouble expressing what I need, so I just thought I would ask, what usually happens if you do, and if you have difficulties, what are they?

I often have trouble talking about my feelings and problems.

Beat around the bush and make them guess.

Half the time if they guess right I will say no anyway. When I don't want to say something, I will let them guess until they get it.

have been working on this loads, recently, so, once i've worked out what it is i need (which is the difficult bit for me), i can be quite precise and clear. it's taken years, mind you...

I have a bad habit of not expressing what I need at all. When I do, I will usually just come out and say it, but it usually takes 30-45 minutes of just sitting there and working myself to get to the point where I (very uncomfortably) say that I need something.

I have no problem at all. I walk up and say, "Hey, can I borrow some money?" or "Ummmm..... someone stole my pen, can I borrow yours?". It doesn't take much effort for me, unless an attractive women is involved. Then it's complete tongue-tied-ness for me.

It really, really depends on what the need is.

Can I take options 1 and 2?

I kinda do both of them.

GA

Me, too.

oh god, yes! although it'd be a bloke, in my case.

and, reading through the other posts, i now realise that, although i CAN do it, it isn't necessarily automatic or quick - depends on whom i'm talking to. if it's people i care about, or whose opinion matters to me, then i'm more likely to be more squirmy and hesitant.

I'm completely crap at stating my needs although I'm not sure either of the first two options apply. With me I think it's self-esteem or something, I just don't think I have the right to make demands on other people, however tiny the need actually is, and we can be talking the smallest things, like I'll walk across the room to pick something up when another person could have passed it to me without them hardly moving if I'd have asked.

I used to be terrible at making my needs clear. I've slowly taught myself how to do it. Though I'm still pretty bad at it, unless the need is obvious or desperate.

I'm OK at making my needs clear. I need to think about it and decide what I am going to say before I say it. Although I am very good in emergency situations. None of the poll options fit me, though

Hello,

I'm ok with asking for what I need....but there are a lot of times when I'll stammer a little bit (I think from nervousness) as I make the request. If I'm in a comfortable situation (i.e. working w/ computers, or at school) it's a lot easier.

With other situations though, I tend to stammer a bit.

mentalman

Absolutely appalling at it.

I didn't vote, because I'm neither shy, nor do I want to play games and make people guess.

It's more a case of not being able to work out what it is that I want - leads to a feeling of generally being cross and fidgety, but not knowing myself what is bothering me, I can't express it to others.

I usually don't feel right about asking directly as I hate the word "No" more than any other word. If I beat around the bush and don't get what I want, at least nobody said "NO" to me. That is because I am scared of my reaction to having "No" said to me. Also, I don't like to ask people for favours unless I know I can do something back for them.

This is one problem I've always had with my parents, particularly before I was diagnosed with AS. If I didn't explain my problems perfectly they wouldn't understand and accuse me of wanting too much or whatever.

For me to explain anything about my problems to my parents in a way that they'd understand, I have to spend hours working out in my head previously how to explain it because if I can't explain it literally they won't understand and will always ask questions or get the wrong idea. And often by the time I get a chance to explain it to them, it doesn't come out the way I origianlly intend it.