I'm back

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I can't remember the last time I was here, but I can't remember a lot of things anyways. Last year, I lost my wife suddenly and unexpectedly. (only a few hours from now was when the official news was told to me last year). I haven't really been the same since then. Only near the end of last year did I figure out that I wanted to honor her by sharing the stories that she and I had worked to build over the years. I only recently started sharing them, I picked our wedding anniversary for a launch date and as a gift to her, and I plan to keep going. The worst feeling I've had through all of this has been nothingness. Feeling nothing inside aside from a literal coldness.

Welcome back. I’m very sorry for your loss.

Welcome back! That sounds like a terrible experience. Sorry for your loss

As difficult as your loss has been, your decision on how to honor your wife and your life together is brilliant. I hope it brings you fond memories, the occasional giggle, and, ultimately, peace.

I appreciate the kind comments. I actually was out for most of today with my in-laws who came down to visit for the anniversary. They live ten hours away so I don't get to see them as often anymore. It was nice visiting one of our favorite parks, visiting the cemetery, and going out to dinner. I have steadily been picking up speed with my project and have hopes for it.

Welcome back. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife.

Welcome back.

Sorry to hear. I have never been married, but about a decade ago I lost so many people who passed away that were either family or relatives or family friends via my parents which had me attend 43 funerals. I just had no emotions. I could not reach them as I was just numb.

When I was younger death was a constant occurrence in my life. Sure a great many of those were family friends that I was too young to truly know, but a few of them were relatives who did die to various causes. My emotions have always been my most underdeveloped, or perhaps underfunded, area of my being. Though I still notice a difference between lacking the expression of them and the times when I lack any feeling at all. Constantly flipping between: feeling nothing, being stuck in mood swings, feigning happiness, or briefly being distracted and feeling joy can all be rather taxing. Even more so when my design specifically discourages against sharing of many internal thoughts and sensations.