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hello. i am new on this forum.

i got diagnosed with aspergers last year - november 2024. (yes it is still an official diagnosis where i live)

I am 35 years old. I live in Austria (Europe). I did not know i was autistic or what autism is until shortly before i got diagnosed. I only knew there was something deeply wrong with me because people always told me so. Where I live people like me are not allowed to exist.

Because there was something deeply wrong with me i never had friends. I also was never good enough to get a job or make money. i had to quit school. normal everyday life of normal people is a physical torture to me. I was hit by a car 2 years ago and now i have trouble walking and i am worth even less. The only way i manage to survive is people pleasing and masking. Through this i managed to get a spouse and i am now something like their pet. They pay for my food and other necessities. I also worked hard to keep up relations with my mother so i have a backup plan. Though through my mother i would not have access to medical health care. I managed to survive this way for many many years.

I hate my life though. I have chronic pain. I always have to pretend to be somebody my spouse and my mother would accept enough to not drop me. I always have to do what they want. I never know what will happen next because they make no shedules or plans. I can never talk about what i want or speak my mind or be me. Sometimes it happens and then i get in real trouble. Being threatened with divorce. I can never be me or feel safe except when I'm alone. And even then i never know when someone will come back. I cannot partake in the world. I cannot make my own decisions. I cannot do anything i want except for when i am alone and i cannot talk about what i want or say my mind without having to fear existence threatening consequences. i cannot be me. i've spend the past 7 years hiding at home. i am not a real person.

after getting diagnosed last year i tried to get support only to learn there is no support for autistic adults in my country.

i hate my life. and i feel there is no way out. i want to change my life for the better. but no matter how hard i try nothing changes and i realise there is no hope. because the autism will not go away and because the place i live in has no space for people like me. people like me are not allowed. the only way to survive is to pretend to be normal. and i am sick of it. i dont want to live like this anymore.

i dont know how to do this or what to write. I dont normally socialize

i am here because chat gpt told me i should reach out to other autistic people. he said it would help me improve my quality of life. so here i am


thank you

hushedvoice, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

It seems like you are in a world of hurt. In this site, you have found a home. So Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

I am not sure I can help. The only thing that comes to mind is the original story of Peter Pan. He lived in a dream world but traveled to Earth (London, England). This is where he met Wendy Darling a gave her an adventure. So in a way you need to be Peter Pan and live in two different worlds. One is commonly called the real world and the other is in Never Never Neverland. You must be the best you can be in both worlds.

This is Disney's original version of Peter Pan.



But the original story dates back to the beginning of the 1900s.

thank you for welcoming me. I have not found the way yet to the Never Never Neverland. How do I get there?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I don't really have any advice unfortunately. I take it moving somewhere else isn't an option for you?

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Wecome aboard HV.
I hope you can feel at home here.

I agree with chatgpt. Wrong Planet might be a good place for you.

Keep in mind the obvious:

- A lot of us here have psychological conditions (My official diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild) with a note that I also meet the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.)

- We're scattered across Earth. Many in the U.S., Europe and Australia...but a scattering from other countries, as well. By the way, that means there are likely to be delays and pauses in interactions with each other (also due to jobs, classes, doctor appointments, etc.) Please be patient.

- I suggest you look closely at all of the areas with forums here. You might find a few that you'd especially enjoy.

You wrote, "I was hit by a car 2 years ago and now i have trouble walking and i am worth even less."

This is the thing that comes to my mind. Can you do anything to make it easier to walk? Constant pain can make it hard on your well being. Can you obtain special foot ware to make it less painful.

There are many different areas in your foot that can be damaged by an injury. It is fairly common for athletes to get foot injuries. So if you can find someone specializing in foot injuries, that may provide you some relief. That is where I would begin. Athletes.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

thank you for welcoming me. i really wish i could move somewhere else but i do not know how since i rely havily on my family for survival.

thank you

thank you

thank you. i will try

thank you for your reply. i had several surgeries and there is nothing else that can be done according to doctors except taking the hardware out which according to my imaging would not be a good idea but also very probably would not solve my walking problem since the most pain is in differnt areas. i have no income and there is no financial support for people in my situation in my country. so i cannot afford any special care. even special care can ony go so far. i am in an online group forum for people with my injuries and sadly having life impairments seems to be the normal experience. if things are damaged too much they will not be able to return to normal.

thank you

Medical science keeps improving every day. I suffered a heart attack that led to a stroke four years ago. They performed several unbelievable operations on me and I am still ticking.