Is there such a thing as help?

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Is it actually possible to feel less depressed by talking to people? It seems like the theory is that it should. That's the concept behind therapists, and many of the people who post here do so hoping that someone will be able to help with their problems. But I find that the way I think about things is so out of alignment with how other people do, it never actually helps.

My main, probably only, problem is with feeling alone. Thinking about hugging someone usually helps, but I'm not sure how to go about actually making that happen. Other times, that just makes it worse because I know the odds are low I will ever connect with anyone in such a way.

I know the main point of this post is that I don't think this will even help, but I guess I'm hoping I'm wrong. I have no one else to talk to, after all.

Having a taste of love to only have it taken away soon after is infinetly worse than never experiencing it at all.

I imagine so. But I'm okay with not experiencing love. I can live with that. I just wish I was able to have friends of some kind.

WP will be your friend
Having a friend is something everyone has the right to have, but not always the ability to make friends with NTs. Us aspies will support you the whole way.

I hope so. That seems like it would probably help. I'm just not sure of my ability to have friends.

It just seemed appropriate to post this link, http://youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4.

It's a link to the video of Juan Mann's "Free Hugs" campaign. It just shows you NT or non-NT, that you're not alone in feeling "alone". It might help it might not. Just hang in there, I know it's not easy it may not get any easier, or it may.

This might make me sound like a dork but Ive always hugged a pillow and pretended it was someone who loves me. It actually helps temporarily though, for me anyway.

As much as I'd like to hug someone, I don't think I'd be able to hug a stranger. But I probably can't afford to have standards.

I actually do that too, but it only helps some of the time.

It isn't the talking that matters it is the feedback and feeling connected that matters. i hear that us AS types find this difficult. If you ask a direct question, guys here are usually quite good at answering.

Obviously, I can't say that any specific method or action will help any particular individual feel better. There is this:
http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2007/ ... frame=true
(Sorry it's such a long link!) Here's intro paragraph:
"By Julie Steenhuysen
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Putting feelings into words makes sadness and anger less intense, U.S. brain researchers said on Wednesday, in a finding that explains why talking to a therapist -- or even a sympathetic bartender -- often makes people feel better.
They said talking about negative feelings activates a part of the brain responsible for impulse control."
Doesn't guarantee it'll work, but figure it's worth attempting, on occasion.

Kajaw.....

I dont know if this would work for you but it has done wonders for me and other aspies.


If possible,get a pet that hugs.Big dogs are ideal but very high maintenance,so it depends on your circumstances.I work with(mostly dogs)and nothing else makes me smile,laugh or feel loved more then contact with them.Human hugs feel very "complicated" to me and somewhat uncomfortable....dog hugs actually recharge my batteries,not drain them.

I could never work at the Humain Society(although,I admire animal lovers who are strong enought to do so),because they kill many animals.I couldnt be around that.There are some animal support agencies that have "no kill" policies and you could volunteer there.I can not say enough about how wonderful it is to give comfort to a dog who is feeling stress,lonliness and abandonment.You can feel their gratitude for some companionship and it's truely wonderful.I think your likelyhood of meeting compassionate people would also be greater in these settings.People ho dont have a problem with cleaning up doggy poo seem a bit more open to excepting people who are a bit "different".

Hugs are important.This isnt a bad place to practice......((((((((hugs))))))))

Please pardon the simplistic generalizations.
I have realized how strange it seems that in our society (or wherever, whenever) that it's generally easier to get sex than a hug.
That it's considered normal, healthy, or at least understandable to have sex with someone who's a stranger (not that there's anything wrong with that) but it's not considered okay to ask a stranger for a hug-then people react as if you're incredibly weird.
Sex (or making out) with someone seems more to ask (of both people), more intimate, more risky than hugs, which aren't taken seriously & the importance of hugging isn't valued. Have heard of "cuddle parties" where single people gather & can touch each other in non-sexual ways. That sounds appealing in theory, though I can't imagine being able to tolerate such a situation for real, too much social anxiety.
Touch, physical affection & interaction (whether platonic or intimate) are experiences a body wants & needs (varying from individual to individual, a little or a lot)-it's unfortunate many humans scoff at these notions (and that many folks are unhappily isolated).

The talking part of therapy does work, it's just a question of finding a type of therapy that will be the most effective. For some the 1:1 experience of talking to a psychiatrist or councillor works best. Others (including me) got the most benefit from group therapy where you tell a small group about your problems, they're discussed, and then you discuss other peoples issues.

As for the hugs, a hug from someone special is a wonderful thing.

Ed Almos