How surprised are people to find that you're autistic?

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I found out in my mid-sixties that my life's experiences matched those of people on the spectrum. I do think people saw me as odd and overly reserved but i don't think they'd have considered autism as a cause. I'm wondering how unusual my experience is amongst those here.

How surprised were they? Their reactions were mixed. One said "You hid that well," another said "That explains everything," and another said something like "oh really? Anyway, as I was saying......"

I've never actually told anyone that I'm on the spectrum, but I do know that people would react with surprise if I did tell them, as nobody has asked me if I'm on the spectrum before - BUT I have had people ask if I have anxiety, Bipolar or just mental health issues, and ADHD has been guessed before too. But never autism. I think if I told people what goes on in my head that I don't always talk openly about because of it being too weird (thoughts, not emotions), then they might, might, ask if I have some sort of spectrum disorder, but I still don't know. But people don't seem to detect autism just by my behaviour, even though I don't really mask as much as I should when I'm at work. I let my emotions out and mostly just be myself, but because I don't rock or flap my hands or avoid eye contact or go mute when stressed or put my hands over my ears, people don't suspect autism.

I remember when I was diagnosed with ADHD and I told my partner, he asked what it stood for. The conversation kinda went as follows:-

Me: I have ADHD
Him: What does that stand for?
Me: Attention Deficit...
Him: Oh yeah, definitely you
Me: ...Hyperactivity...
Him: Oh, yes
Me: ...Disorder
Him: How the hell weren't you diagnosed with that sooner?
Me: You tell me!

When I was young some people asked me if I was autistic, but I wasn't sure if they meant it as a joke.
I also struggled with other mental health problems. Every time I told someone I needed to see a doctor, they always told me that it's nothing. I believed them, even though I was struggling.
Years later one of my few friends was diagnosed with autism, so I told her I am going to get an assessment too. She wasn't surprised.

Very surprised.

But that's usually because I announce it to them while bursting out of an oversized cake.

I had been thinking I was different since I was ~10 but had no clue what the difference might be.

For the longest time I attributed the difference to IQ (I'm in Mensa and encourage anyone eligible for it to look into it).

By my 50s I became increasingly suspicious that there was possibly some diagnosable difference between me and other people. In 2012 I pestered my Primary Care Physician into referring me to a genetic test but it did not find anything odd.

In 2018 it got interesting. My Dad was still alive, then, and was visited by my sister who is a nanny for special-needs children. She happened to have one of the special-needs kids with her and Dad reportedly observed more than once that he was doing the same "weird" things I used to do...except I would've been doing them in the 1950s! Around the end of 2018/beginning of 2019 I learned of this. My sister had mentioned the kid before (she likes him!) and he has a rich medical history...and the only remotely-possibly usable clue to investigate was that his parents thought he might have Autism.

Based on my knowledge of Autism (I'd seen a few commercials for Rain Man ) I thought it was unlikely to be the answer but I had no better ideas so I pursued it. And got an Adult Autism Assessment and a diagnosis:

Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level1 (Mild)
With an additional note that I also satisfied the criteria previously associated with Asperger's Syndrome.

I got the diagnosis days before my 65th birthday.

P.S. The diagnosis has little, if any, practical value. I completely retired when I was 56. And I have been largely unsuccessful in getting my medical providers to adapt to my diagnosis. Nonetheless, it is wonderful to finally know what is wrong with everyone else!

No one's surprised.
They're less confused or surprised, and more like something lits up and explains me.

Not even when I got newly diagnosed and not even know what autism even is.


I just know I'm not like everyone else since i was 8.

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These days, not at all. People were surprised in the past.

Most people think I'm weird but don't believe I'm autistic because of (insert ridiculous reason here).

When I first came to this forum nobody was surprised. Now I don't bring it up.

I tend to not mention autism offline because where I'm originally from people associate autism with a less sever form of mental ret@rdation. When I was evaluated for autism & when I was trying to get approved for services specially related to autism the so-called experts said I cant be on the spectrum because I communicate too well verbally & am too intelligent since I had a high-school diploma. However my nickname in elementary school was TardedBoy for being ret@rded. The GP doctors I've seen as an adult & the psychiatrists I've seen think I'm on the spectrum though. Various other people notice I have various issues but I don't mention autism to them & they don't mention it to me.
The only people I discussed autism with in person are my parents who told me they thought I had Aspergers after I graduated high-school. I talk about autism with my girlfriend & her family but her brother was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was little & Cass is very likely on the spectrum herself but wasn't accessed due to her brother having more problems as a kid & me & her met on this forum. I also talked about autism with my previous girlfriend but we met on this forum as well. When I mentioned autism on online forums others were not surprised but I had lots of issues on other forums.

Not at all. Generally the response I get has always been something along the lines of "makes sense". There was only ever one person that scoffed at the idea and said, and this is an exact quote, "You couldn't possibly be autistic. You can speak."

@perach
Thank you for the topic.
@all,
interesting to read your responses.

For me as with many of you the response varied immensely, but they did so in a logical manner:
- those that I live with, my partner and children responded almost unsurprised.
- those I work with, verry surprised bordering on to disbelief.

so tldr: it depends on our masking habits.

Maybe I'm not really autistic.

After all, I don't rock or flap my hands or spin. Even as a kid.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's, which is like having "a dash of autism", but Asperger's doesn't exist anymore and you'll deeply offend people if you say that's what you have now.