Hello there

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Joined: 29 May 2025
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 4
Location: Blackpool

29 May 2025, 8:40 pm

Hi. This is nice; old school forum makes me feel oddly comfortable. (:

My name is Fraser, I'm a 38 old cis Scottish guy who lives in NW England. I haven't had a diagnosis for any ND condition yet except for general depressive and anxiety disorder, I have been on the waiting list for coming up on 3 or so years now. Friends and family in recent years have got me into a direction where I have been learning more about myself as well as how ADHD / AuDHD works, and got me onto a path where I feel like I can finally start living like I was meant to and want to. Recent events and incidents, mostly involving interpersonal relationships and coping with overthinking, stress and hypervigilance following on from the loss of a family member late year have all built up considerably the last couple of months especially following my mum's hip replacement surgery back in April.

I recently had a major falling out with someone I care very deeply about, and after a meltdown on Sunday where she regrettably bore the brunt of that - I think I have had about half a dozen so far this year, which has troubled myself and others immensely - I have found myself here while taking steps to get more help and reach out to local support groups, as well as focus on getting better, rebuilding my resilience and being able to take positive forward steps in my life as I get older so that the best parts of myself are able to thrive.

utterly absurd
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29 May 2025, 9:23 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

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BTDT
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29 May 2025, 9:26 pm

Welcome Plergoth!

Carbonhalo
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29 May 2025, 10:07 pm

Hi Plergoth and welcome to the planet

Jakki
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29 May 2025, 11:03 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

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jimmy m
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30 May 2025, 9:12 am

Plergoth, Welcome to Wrong Planet.

You seem to be in a bad spot in your life. "Overthinking, stress and hypervigilance" is leading to extreme meltdowns and a falling away from loved ones and family members.

I may have an idea how you can fix this problem. It takes two components, sleep and exercise.

Your body needs at least a combined total of 2 hours of REM and deep NREM sleep each night to recalibrate your brain and keep it healthy. I have used a heated waterbed for over 50 years and it provides the perfect sleep environment.

Your body needs around a hour of strenuous exercise each day. I generally get this by walking up and down a steep hillside for about an hour per day. But sometimes I go to the YMCA and swim a mile. I use flippers and it takes me two hours to swim a mile. I am 76 years old and I can still swim a mile.

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Plergoth
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Joined: 29 May 2025
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 4
Location: Blackpool

30 May 2025, 9:33 am

jimmy m wrote:

Thanks for the welcome everyone. You're absolutely correct. Lack of sleep and rest / recreation has been a critical factor recently. I currently live at my mother's home, and she's recovering from hip replacement surgery - there has been a lot of disturbed nights of sleep and trying to get the *right* kind of sleep has always been a struggle for me. I've started walking exercises this year and am getting more into shape again with noticeable improvement after changes to my diet, but am extremely body conscious due to the way my skin is (I have bad habits with picking at it) as I would love to go swimming. I've got some major executive dysfunction and social anxiety over getting to a gym and just starting there somewhere without overthinking things too; things that my goal is to overcome.

Double Retired
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30 May 2025, 2:40 pm

Welcome to WP!

I hope it is one of many improvements you get for your life.

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31 May 2025, 5:15 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

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jimmy m
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02 Jun 2025, 8:24 am

Plergoth wrote:

I've started walking exercises this year and am getting more into shape again with noticeable improvement after changes to my diet, but am extremely body conscious due to the way my skin is (I have bad habits with picking at it) as I would love to go swimming. I've got some major executive dysfunction and social anxiety over getting to a gym and just starting there somewhere without overthinking things too; things that my goal is to overcome.

In order to get exercise, pick the best approach that works for you. As I indicated, I generally just leave my home and my steep driveway is all I need to exercise. But I live in the country and the closest person is around a half a mile away. So no one sees me.

You noted that you have bad habits of picking at your skin. Some insects such as mosquitoes can detect your blood. They can pass on diseases. So try to keep you open skin wounds covered if you live in a similar outdoor environment. Many years ago when I was a child, I also had bad habits, but I found that I could replace one bad habit with another bad habit that was not as much of a problem. So perhaps you can trade one bad habit for another.

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kadanuumuu
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Joined: 26 May 2025
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 82
Location: Belgium

02 Jun 2025, 9:31 am

Hello maestro Plergoth,

and a warm welcome!
Nice to meet a current day Rhaknam .

I hear and feel your pain maestro, take care and know that you are not alone in the type of anxiety and suffering you are in. Unfortunately there is no easy remedy, no quick fix...
Of course a healthy body, supported by a good diet, exercise and sleep schedule help immensely, but the paralysis you describe is all to familiar to me and not easily resolved. For me it took my ex-wife telling me "please don't kill our children's dad." to wake me up and shake me to my core. This simple statement she made to this day drives me like nothing ever has, and whenever I'm facing a "executive - control" dilemma. I humbly ask myself: "will not doing this impact my ability to be there for my kids?" and any positive response, triggers me to do it, despite my energy levels, despite what my mind is screaming at me, ...
Again, this is my handicapped "work-arround", and it does not help for you.
Try and find your "deep-driver".

Best of luck
Kada

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