Why won't people just admit it?

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Coilette_91
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03 Jun 2025, 4:59 am

There are so many people that talk about being single forever or no one wants them. But when someone does actually show interest they back track and say they just want to be friends. Don't say nobody wants you because that's a lie. Just be honest and say nobody YOU want, wants you. There's nothing wrong with having preferences, and it's not offensive to say so. I think that's all that it really comes down to in this instance. Because there are plenty of people out here, billions of people. If you turn someone down that is interested that should say something more about you rather than other people.



Last edited by Coilette_91 on 03 Jun 2025, 5:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jun 2025, 5:06 am

Image



Coilette_91
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03 Jun 2025, 5:16 am

My point still stands



The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Jun 2025, 5:21 am

People don't admit a lot of things in dating.

I guess someone who has been chronically single has just rejected your advances?



Coilette_91
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03 Jun 2025, 5:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
People don't admit a lot of things in dating.

I guess someone who has been chronically single has just rejected your advances?


Not exactly, but it was a point that I wanted to prove. And I won't deny that I've done that in the past when I was younger.



BillyTree
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03 Jun 2025, 1:36 pm

Of course there is always someone that wants you. That is if you include serial killers, abusive people of different kinds, total nut cases and people that you are not attracted to. When people say "No one wants me" it is not to be taken literally but as an exhibition of self-pity and some whining.


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ChicagoLiz
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03 Jun 2025, 4:20 pm

Or, it's indicating that no one kind/decent/loving/supportive has shown interest.

Not wanting to date an abusive person is not the same thing as whining.


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Tamaya
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03 Jun 2025, 4:56 pm

Hmm, are you saying that single people should just date the first person who comes along, whether they fancy them or not? I couldn't date out of desperation, it has to be someone I like in that way. I'm not single anyway but I once was but didn't just date the first male that came along just because "anyone would do". I thought that would be dishonest? :lol:



nick007
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04 Jun 2025, 7:54 am

Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to settle. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them when they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


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Last edited by nick007 on 04 Jun 2025, 9:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tamaya
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04 Jun 2025, 9:45 am

nick007 wrote:
Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to compromise. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them they they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


Oh right, I see what you mean.



Coilette_91
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04 Jun 2025, 10:00 am

nick007 wrote:
Some chronically single whiners do complain about no one being interested in them & they'll let it slip that they've rejected others for superficial reasons like not being pretty enough or not earning enough. I do agree that it's very important to have some standards in a potential partner but if those single people were really as lonely as they claim they would be willing to reevaluate their standards & make some compromises. When this gets pointed out to them they go into a rant about how they did not chose to have disabilities or to have the various problems they have in life so they should be expected to have to settle. Why would anyone settle or compromise to be in a relationship with them when they are too hypocritical to consider doing the same :shrug:


Thank you! This is what I was talking about. And at one point in time that was me, and I did reevaluate my standards and compromise. It's a learning experience. I don't want anyone here to take this as a personal jab, it's just food for thought. Something to consider. Because I had to admit it to myself too.



FrankStein
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04 Jun 2025, 11:12 am

One of the things I read about Aspergers is that those included are often maladroit and not good at sports. I remember high school when the gym class would be split in two and someone would pick players in front of them. I remember me being last - along with a skinny kid with glasses who never said much. In baseball I usually got left field (to minimize the damage). I understood that I might be, like the other kid, a "loner" and high social activity was not in the cards.
Second high school event. I was trying to meet girls and took a typing class. This was the late 50s so I was the only male in the class. Didn't work socially but I did learn to type! A year after high school, in the US Army, I ended up in the "Special Correspondence Section" for the Commander in Chief of US Army Europe in Heidelberg. A couple of decades later I was laughing at all the other guys finger punching their computer keyboards. Last social observation! In high school, was dating this girl for a period of time and struggling to learn what other guys did for a "relationship." We would sit in my car for hours after a movie and kiss. I finally asked her if she ever did "French Kissing." (That's kissing with tongue active), "Oh NO!" she said! "It makes me want to do things I do not want to do!" So... we never French Kissed.... I understood decades later that her statement probably was an oblique suggestion that we could move in that direction but I took the message literally, of course (and remained a virgin for a few more years.) Maybe that was one of the reasons she shortly dumped me.
I did have a few dates and was married for 10 years so there were relationships that lasted. But I expect the other person was more tolerant than usual of my social weaknesses.



blitzkrieg
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04 Jun 2025, 12:05 pm

There are definitely people who are too picky when they are single and that can be the source of their problem, in some cases.

The loneliness that some people complain about can be brought on by having unrealistic standards.



Coilette_91
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04 Jun 2025, 12:11 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
There are definitely people who are too picky when they are single and that can be the source of their problem, in some cases.

The loneliness that some people complain about can be brought on by having unrealistic standards.


Exactly



blitzkrieg
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04 Jun 2025, 12:13 pm

Coilette_91 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
There are definitely people who are too picky when they are single and that can be the source of their problem, in some cases.

The loneliness that some people complain about can be brought on by having unrealistic standards.


Exactly


I am glad we agree. :)



Tamaya
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04 Jun 2025, 12:13 pm

Yeah, I know what you're saying now OP.