Unfair punishment
My intentions.
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad.
It's equally misunderstood.
Most of punishments are from my head than from anyone else, really.
I can take consequences in reality -- but not my damnable head making things up.
It's worse if, something that aligns to me yet my head refuses, my behavior refuses.
Like no matter how comfortable the environment was for me, my body is still a nuisance -- it did not matter.
Like no matter how severe the punishment was for me, my head is just as a nuisance either -- it also did not matter.
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I have a few incidents where I've been wrongly accused of something I didn't do.
1. When I was 5 I accidentally moved a chair away as the teacher's assistant was about to sit down, and she fell to the floor. I wasn't quite aware of what I had done, but the class teacher roared at me so loud that the whole class went quiet and she was so full of rage. I was terrified, as she was like a huge ogre that towered over me and I ended up backing away across the classroom, crying and shaking, as she continued to shout at me. It was just an accident that is bound to happen in a class of 5-year-olds, but both teachers thought I had done it maliciously, and told my mother at the end of the day as a punishment. My mother was angry with me, and being only 5 I couldn't really explain myself properly. The way the teachers had gone about it I actually believed I had done it on purpose, but looking back I know I didn't.
2. When I was at my previous job at a care home there was a rule not to leave any cleaning chemicals lying around unattended, as people with dementia could come along and play with the chemicals. I understood this and knew not to leave my chemicals out. But a more absent-minded cleaner had left her chemicals out near where I was working and the boss shouted at me. I calmly told her that those weren't my chemicals, as I had literally just fetched mine from the cleaning cupboard (that was locked and I had a key to), but she didn't believe me and yelled "yes they were yours!" and carried on shouting at me. I was absolutely livid and nearly walked out.
3. Last year at my current job somebody had set me up by messing up the supervisor's desk, and because the bully there had seen me near the desk he immediately accused me of being the one who had tampered with the desk, even though I had not even touched the desk. I got called into the office the next day and got a lecture. I was livid once again, fed up with being the scapegoat around there. I knew the bully or one of his mates had done that to make it look like it was me.
4. When I was in a store and had bought a cushion and paid for it, then an employee from the store came running out after me asking if I was going to pay for the cushion, and she whipped it out of my bag and shouted that I'm banned from the store, and passers-by stared at me with accusing eyes. Then she stormed off back into the store with my cushion, leaving me standing there dumbstruck. It took a few moments for me to comprehend what had just happened, then I remembered I had a receipt. So I phoned my partner in tears and he came and marched back into the store with me to sort it out. He angrily showed the woman my receipt, and she apologised and said that she didn't see me pay for the cushion - even though I was standing at the till long enough.
I do get really angry when I get blamed for something I didn't do, with the consequences being dramatic and humiliating. Makes me feel like I'm just unlucky, always in the wrong place at the wrong time, just getting on with my day, minding my own business and being aware of common sense, yet I get people that are so convinced I done something wrong without evidence and they yell and scream and show me up. It's really destroying when you have anxiety as it is.
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My diagnosis story and why it was a traumatic experience for me:
viewtopic.php?f=35&t=416910&start=1056#p9695026
kokopelli
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Joined: 27 Nov 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,427
Location: amid the sunlight and the dust and the wind
I came close to being rounded up at a party and sent to jail.
It was about 2 am on January 1 of that year (1974, I think) and my younger brother and I were headed home. There was a party about ten miles north of town so we stopped for a beer on the way. The idiots throwing the party didn't know much about kegs and said that the keg was empty. It turned out to be about half full!
We came back out and sat down on the porch to see what was happening. As we were driving out, we could see headlights behind us traveling a lot faster than we were traveling. We were about six miles from town when we saw them and when we arrived at the party, the lead car driven by my cousin came flying in behind us and parked behind a shop. The second car came in around the curve, came in the other way, and parked right in front of the porch as we had walked into the house. It was a police car.
The city cop who I knew got out, grabbed my cousin, and marched him over to his car where he performed a search. In the car was someone I didn't know who had been riding with the city cop all night and who turned out to be some kind of big shot narc. He yelled at us through the window that we were all going to jail for possession of drugs! (I do not and never have used illegal drugs.)
After a few minutes the city cop and my cousin came back, the city cop got back in his car, and they drove off. We asked my cousin what that was about and he replied that when he got out of the car before the cop got there, he stashed his drugs in one of a number of pipes on the ground so when the city cop searched his car, he wouldn't find anything.
A few months later, they had a big drug bust after bringing in a large number of state police to arrest a lot of people including some friends of mine in jail. Some of my friends smoked marijuana regularly and some didn't use or possess drugs at all. This biggest drug bust in my county's history found one marijuana cigarette! A few months after that when they went to court, the judge threw out every arrest because the narc didn't show up to testify. It turned out that the narc got paid based on the number of arrests, not convictions.
One friend of mine who was arrested wasn't even in the state at the time the narc claimed he was selling drugs. That friend was actually out partying with members of the sheriff's department of a county several hundred miles away. He still racked up a lot in legal bills and lost his job because of that.
Later, that narc got into a bunch of trouble when it turned out that he was making his own drugs and then claiming that he bought them from people he wanted to throw in jail. I think that he probably got his money used to "buy" the drugs paid back by the state.
So this corrupt narc wanted to throw my brother and I in jail for possessing drugs when all we did was stop for a beer.