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Highly_Autistic
Deinonychus
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14 Jul 2025, 3:38 pm

For an autistic person, does it help to be inside crowds (or groups), have intimate relationships with people, or worsens the condition?

I dont like being around people much, and i dont get along with many of them. I just get along with smart people which is very rare. I feel irritated among too many people. But i have a feeling that being lonely and isolated makes me more weird.



timf
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14 Jul 2025, 3:49 pm

Crowds are definitely intimidating.Most social interaction with one or two people can be rewarding.As the years go by this sort of communication improves.



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14 Jul 2025, 4:02 pm

I don't mind crowds, you kinda just vanish into them.


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14 Jul 2025, 4:06 pm

I don't like crowds either. I get stuck and can't move to my intended destination. But relationships with one or two people at a time can be very nice. I'm always worried that the rug will get pulled out under me, based on past experiences where I thought someone was my friend and they definitely were not my friend (but I only figured that out in hindsight). I have to keep interacting with people, even if it's just being in the same store as them. Without regular practice, anyone gets weird. If I go too long without talking to someone I don't know, it becomes very hard for me to talk to someone I don't know.



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14 Jul 2025, 4:09 pm

As long as the crowd is well-behaved and not too tight I'm usually OK with them.

I just see the other people as animated obstacles I shouldn't bump into.


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14 Jul 2025, 11:56 pm

I never mind crowds most at the time.

Instead of avoiding them, I thought of ways how to toy with them.

If I'm not in a mood to deal with their noise, that's when I mind.


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ShwaggyD
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15 Jul 2025, 1:49 am

It really depends on multiple variables for me. In general I can tolerate crowds around me to differing degrees, but only when I am not the focal point of the group or crowd.

I have always enjoyed going to listen to good live music, but do have a temperature issue with these types of crowds as they often get extremely hot and sweaty. I usually find a good spot off behind the crowd where I can watch and listen without being bumped into every two seconds and I'm completely fine.

I love putting on my headphones and listen to music or a podcast while I walk around the local farmers market, and I think because I am outside the crowd around me usually seems more mentally entertaining than annoying. Put me in a crowded indoor shopping location and I am usually super stressed and irritable very quick.

I do find the older I get the less tolerant I become on some areas regarding crowds, while in others I've actually become more tolerant. I think when technology got to the point where I could wear headphones and listen to music in public it helped in both regards as they helped create a barrier between me and the crowd. They help defend against mental and emotional overload from being surrounded by so many strange people, but I do admit to typically find it easier to just hide behind the music and avoid interacting with others unless absolutely necessary.


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Today, 4:57 pm

I prefer to avoid crowds. Some of my medical stuff says I have claustrophobia because I hate being on majorly overcrowded buses & places with major crowds but I don't have a problem with tight spaces in general like small closets. I think my issue is more social anxiety & something like PTSD from being physically bullied as a kid. Other factors for me are probably visual processing problems, major problems paying attention in general, & a tad of auditory processing disorder. Two of the three jobs I had were retail & I did custodial stuff while the stores were open & I handled the crowds OK partly because I tuned the crowds out to focus on my work.


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Today, 5:04 pm

Crowds of strangers in public can make me anxious, because I can get impatient. I like to walk fast and you can't do that when it's too crowded. Also I hate being in the way, and usually when it's crowded you're standing in somebody's way. I don't mind being on a crowded train or bus if I'm sitting down and not getting off for a long while.

But I don't have a lot of patience for dithering people or kids with no motor skills that just run into you. I get very angry inside and I can't always stop it from coming out in my facial expressions. It's like I want people to know how I'm feeling but when they react (non-verbally) I suddenly feel guilty and wish I could be more passive.


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