Why so upset after someone cancels plans last minute?

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Hi,

The plan for today was to go out with a friend but she cancelled exactly a minute before she and I were supposed to leave. (she had just woken up).

Why do I feel so lost and tearful?

I know that I crave predictability, and the opposite happens when someone cancels plans, but why the strong emotions?

Any insights and shared experiences are welcome because I mostly find it impossible to explain my emotions to myself

I'd say that's actually pretty normal? Most people get upset when people cancel at the last minute, especially without a really really good reason. It's just a generally rude thing to do to somebody. It's only less rude than just standing somebody up. It's only really justifiable when something serious happens like a death in the family, an injury or car trouble.
When you make plans with somebody that usually involves alot more that simply deciding to hang out because people usually have more than just that in their lives to account for. You have to arrange your whole schedule around it, make sure you have that time off and no other obligations are conflicting. If you're really busy that can be a herculean task. And if you can't drive you may need to arrange some way of getting to whatever destination these plans take place at. So when somebody cancels at the last minute that's a ton of your time and effort wasted. It may even be money wasted if you prepaid for anything because generally last minute cancellations mean no refund. You're also then left with a giant gap in your schedule that you now need to find a way to fill.
Additionally, a last minute cancellation without a good reason tends to carry the implication that the person doesn't value your time and makes it seem as though you aren't as important to them as they are to you. So it hurts.

Shattered expectations (especially sudden) can produce frustration. It is a result of when we expect something different than reality. This can be reduced by being more familiar with reality. I once had a friend with whom I would go fishing. He would cancel at the last minute about half the time. Once I started having a plan B, it was not so much of a bother.

This friend has been back in touch already but we've not gone anywhere.

I got used to perceive situations from the other person's perspective too much and am now focusing more on how situations make me feel. It's a difficult one to figure out and needs time to develop into a new skill.