I think I did something stupid, now I feel embarrassed

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I had a doctor's appointment today. On my way there was some construction work being done so there were orange cones laid out on the road. As far as I know, if there's construction they usually cover the left turn light to keep traffic flowing. But it wasn't covered and I needed to turn left. So while the light was green I was waiting for crossing traffic to go before I could turn but I was blocking the traffic behind me. I didn't mean to do that, I pulled up so cars could go around. Then one of the construction workers told me to go straight. So ended up going straight around through some businesses in order to get to the doctors office. That should have been the logical thing to do. But I also thought if the left turn light wasn't covered I should've been able to turn when it was safe to do so. I felt embarrassed, confused and now anxious because of it. I've decided to go a different way home because I'm afraid of passing by the construction workers again with them possibly thinking "there goes that idiot that blocked traffic again".

I don't know if this even belongs here or not, I just shared it here because I don't know if it's a thought process that people with autism has or I'm really just this clueless.

Sorry you're feeling this way after your ordeal

I'm wondering if the construction workers will even remember you if you went back the same way

I'm sure your thread will get moved into a more appropriate place if you aren't getting any responses in this forum

I understand how you feel. I become really anxious when faced with unexpected situations in public too. It's good to share it here.

I used to suffer dreadfully with this kind of thing

I've been known to walk miles out of my way because of it but I sort of just battled through it in the end

it might be more common than we know.

I remember one time when I got off a bus, there were a few people getting on so I just walked in front of the bus to cross the road, as I see a lot of people do when they've just got off a bus and the bus obligingly waits for them.
This bus wasn't late, in fact it was rather early, but as I was waiting for a couple of cars to pass the bus began pulling out. I turned around to look at the driver of the bus and saw the driver waving me across, as if to say "go, it's safe". So, thinking fast, I walked across the road, as there was nothing else I could do by then. But I'd forgotten to look the other way and a car was coming along. Luckily the speed limit was low on this road and the car slowed down for me but tooted his horn angrily at me. It made me feel so stupid and I felt so embarrassed, that as soon as I got home I cried my eyes out.

Ordinarily I'm very good at crossing roads safely but this time I failed stupidly. If the bus-driver had of just waited a few more seconds it wouldn't have happened. When these sorts of situations arise in public I'm all suddenly "fight or flight" and I get very anxious.

It's why I don't like going out in public on my own any more, because I just can't deal with unexpected situations where I have to think really fast on my feet while feeling like everybody's looking at me. And these days people just take their phones out of their pockets and start filming you then plaster it all over social media for likes without your consent, so that is why I become so anxious about it.

Sometimes I don't like going out by myself because if I do something I feel that's embarrassing, I'm not alone. But I totally get it, I've gotten yelled at by a bus driver for a simple mistake I made and cried about on the way home afterwards.

Sounds something like me overthinking certain situations that i've been involved in on the road, like accidentally running a red light or narrowly escaping a near-crash situation, but pushing on forward like nothing happened it would stay in my mind for the rest of the day as if something did happen.

I often feel that way with things I do or say in public. I understand.

Even when remembering the situation some time after I can feel the same intense feelings from then.

So hard to explain to people how often what I know and how I feel can both be disconnected from each other.

Yes I KNOW that sweet little baby can't help screaming its head off but it doesn't stop me from FEELING irritated and anxious around it.

Yes I KNOW people with Alzheimer's become frustrated and scared and it's nothing personal if they yell at me, but I still FEEL tearful afterwards.

The second one is interesting actually, because I can actually put myself into an Alzheimer's patient's shoes very well, more so than other ND disorders/conditions (apart from ADHD, anxiety, Emetophobia, and maybe some ASD types), but my logic and my emotions don't often engage with one another and so I still end up shaking and crying and feeling sorry for myself, even though I feel sorry for them.

I think I just feel other people's emotions too deeply, and I'm hypersensitive to facial expressions and tone of voice, so 9 times out of 10 if I understand someone's frustration I'm still going to melt down into panic attack mode. Ugh, I hate it. People think it's because I don't understand things, but I do. Really, I do so, so much. Just because you react emotionally to things it doesn't always mean you don't understand.

Well, I guess the road crew found out why they were supposed to cover the light!