My Father

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He just kicked me in the ribs and flung me across the room. He was trying to throw me out of the house.

Earlier, he told me that my mother doesn't love me.

He told me I was a burden to the family and that I am making all of our family's problems worse.

He told me that it is my fault that he doesn't have a job, and that it will be my fault if we lose the house.

If I try to argue with him about anything, he subverts my argument and changes the subject; making me confused about what I am trying to tell him.

He tells me that I am a bully and that I care about nobody but myself.

christ - thats horrible

Is your father suffering from mental problems? drink? Without knowing anything about your personal life, id guess its him that is probably responsible for most of your families problems, but theres probably no point in trying to fix that right now.

If your still living with your parents - get on the waiting list for social housing asap. You might be able to get prioritised and hold out for your own place in a nice, safe area.

Why did he say all that? Cummon, tell the whole story!


JK... anyway, what DID happen? Has he done this before? Does he do this regularly? What lead up to it?


Cummon, tell us, this is group therapy. Get it all out.

I just looked at your profile and it says you are female. I couldn't believe he would kick a girl in the ribs and throw her across the room. Your dad is completely out of line and should be arrested.

It is not your fault if he lost his job, he is a big boy and is responsible for his own life. Even if you went to his job and had a meltdown in the lobby you could not have cost him his job all by yourself.

The thing about your mother not loving you is probably a load of crap from that hateful little man. Consider the source before you believe what you hear. He is feeling pissy and he wants to make you miserable so he can feel powerful - consequential in the world. Do not reward his behavior by letting him affect you.

You are not the bully in your family, your father is.

I'm so upset on your behalf I can't even think straight. He is absolutely wrong and you must not pay any heed to his lies, he is just trying to hurt someone and you happen to be there at the moment. This has nothing to do with you, do not take it personally. This is about him and him alone.

Is there anyplace else you can stay until he straightens himself out?

The UK police will respond to domestic incidents if real violence is involved. I suggest you go to the police and tell them what you told us.

Ed Almos

It is a bit too complicated for me to fully explain.

I almost wish I hadn't posted this - I was in shock and I needed to tell someone.

It probably isn't as bad as my initial post made it sound.

My father and I used to get on quite well, but since my psychotic breakdown (a few months ago) things have gotten quite fraught between us.

I think he resents me for the way I behaved when I was sick (I was quite violent), and in some ways he feels I am a different person than I used to be. I can't have a simple conversation with him without being criticised and put down; and when I argue with him, trying to stand up for myself, the whole thing turns into a fight.

I am beginning to think that we can't live in the same house anymore - it isn't that he systematically abuses me (he certainly doesn't), but it seems that we can't even be in the same room together.

I don't really want advice on this, it's just too personal. Actually, if someone could lock the thread, I would be happier.

np- if you decide to apply for social-housing i could give you some tips to speed it up. They might only be relevant to the western (LOCATA) boroughs though and possibly a bit dated.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

I'm getting out for way less than that... just emotional clashes, not physical. You had to deal with both! Just tell them what happened and if they call your father and he lies get out of there anyway!

I agree with the general consensus in this thread. There is no excuse for such behaviour on his part. The best situation, and this is speaking from experience, is to leave this situation. There is no manner in which to placate individuals such as this. Generaly, after observing that there is no adverse reaction to them for their behaviour, it will escalate.

Imancipate yourself (or whatever the apropriate UK equivalent), and leave the house. It will be difficult (I have assisted others with this). However, it will remove you from the front line, and allow yourself to take stock of your situation. I would also suggest that you allow yourself to express your experiences on this subject. It will likely help you to avoid difficulties later in life.

In short, I am outraged on your behalf. No matter how the matter is sliced, you are the child, and he is the adult. It is his responsability to act accordingly. Kicking a girl in the ribs, and throwing her out the door is not appropriate regardless of your actions.

Girl or Guy, it doesn't matter.
Nobody should assault people like that, especially in a family.