My biggest problem is needing something to do

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So this social group on Facebook I'm a member of is having a potluck dinner in a few weeks. I kind of want to go but believe it'll just be boring and awkward. I don't know anyone in the group and I believe most of them know each other. There isn't any kind of activity or anything listed as something to do so I imagine it'll be groups of people just standing around talking with each other. I suck at these kind of events. If I don't know anyone, I don't have anything to talk to anyone about. I need to be able to interact with people on a project or activity to get to know them to learn if we have anything to talk about.

This does sound boring and awkward -- especially if the group is just a generic social group, without even some common theme or topic that could serve as a natural focus of conversation.

Have you looked around on Meetup.com or Eventbrite for groups and events devoted to activities or topics that interest you?

Asking people questions about themselves can work in those situations.

What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun?

Things like that.

I'm interested in everything so when people tell me what their hobbies are for example I then get really interested and so I can ask them more questions. People really like talking about themselves and so you can ask them a question, they will explain things to you, then you can ask another question and they will talk some more. They come away from the conversation thinking you're someone interesting and great to talk to because they got to talk about their own interests and lives.

If you fancy practicing it, do it when you take an uber or a taxi. It can be scary but you can ask them what it's like being an uber driver, do they enjoy it, what did they do before being an uber driver, why did they change jobs etc and people will have interesting stories. And if you screw up, well you'll never see them again and they journey will only be for 10 minutes. That way you can practice in safety before trying it at a party.

I'm always scared to go to these types of things but when I'm they I actually end up really enjoying it, although the first 20 minutes or so can be scary as I build up the courage to talk to people. The way I get myself to go is I say to myself, "do it for the experience" and then I go and have a nice time and then I'm really pleased I pushed myself. Just don't get drunk!

The thing about small talk is that it is a way for a lot of people to get over the initial embarrassment or anxiety of meeting new people. If you want to go out and meet new people, you generally can't immediately jump into an in depth conversation about x. You have to ascertain in some way if they are the type of person you're interested in knowing.

You don't immediately go out and buy a month's supply of icecream you've never tasted and don't know if you like. You sample the different flavours then once you settle on one you like then you commit. Without tasting lots of different types you have no idea if one over the other will be of interest to you.

You don't need to engage in small talk. If you're happy the way you are then ignore it, but if you're struggling to meet like minded people then small talk is a meaningless tool to sound out lots of people until you find someone who shares your interests.

You just think differently than other people. It doesn't mean you have a personality disorder.

Perhaps think of small talk as a means to an end. You don't have to be interested in what people say, but it helps. It's like the path you have to follow to get to the beautiful garden.

There's also nothing wrong with simply explaining how you are to other people. I tell people I'm autistic all the time, then I explain to them about masking and how my brain is wired differently from theirs. Almost every person I have spoken to has been interested, and then engaged with me directly about autism.

Ask whether anyone wants to play a card game or board game like Scrabble.

I can definitely relate to the awkward social gatherings. I feel like I've entered some fuzzy blurry alternate reality where I am trying to figure out how to navigate through the noise of everyone's pitter patter. When in these situations, if I cannot find anyone to relate to, I just tend to drift off into my world of special interest interests.