Cheating

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I don't know how people cope with being cheated on, I am absolutely losing my mind here. Really just one of the worst feelings in the world.

It's partly my fault, for giving her another chance, knowing full well that it would likely happen again.

It also probably didn't help that I went mute on her, and she ended up asking what she did wrong, and I eventually managed to spit out the fact that I knew (and what my evidence was).

Of course, she gets FURIOUS and tries to gaslight me, eventually claiming that it's not cheating because we had already broken up.
lol, no, I have dates right here, we did not break up until at least two days later (I had suspected that she was merely losing interest in me, and confronted her about it, and she said that she guessed things "just weren't working out").
And this wasn't something that just spontaneously happened, there were weeks of planning involved.

Anyway, this is eating me up and I don't have anywhere else to unload, so here it is.

Will I feel better? Probably not.

It's especially hard because I don't want to be near her or even see her, I don't want to hear her giggling on voice chat with her "friend"...but we live together...with our son...

Man, what an awful thing to do. I’m so sorry you’re having to contend with this. I hope your current living situation can be as temporary as possible. I know it’s complicated, though…

I'm sorry SabbraCadabra I know that's very rough. My first girlfriend cheated on me with her ex because he offered her cocaine. Thank f#ckin god we didn't have any kids & weren't living together. I dealt with it by having a mental breakdown but my mental health had been slipping a while before that. I don't have much advice here except you need to focus on trying to take care of yourself & cope as best you can. Try to distance yourself from her & maybe stay somewhere else for a bit like if you have family or friends you could hang with who would try to help you. You obviously need to be there for your son but try to avoid other interacting with her unless it's very necessary.

IDK why it didn't post my response but I was trying to say that cheating (infidelity) is caused by imprisonment and loss of freedom/autonomy! !!

That's most likely what is happening with your wife @SabbraCadabra

She might be feeling imprisoned in the relationship!

Well...possibly a false alarm/misunderstanding?
We had a long talk this morning and she claims the photos she took (before we broke up) were for a (female) co-worker...not sure I really buy that story, but for the sake of my sanity I am going to try to believe it.
She was honest about some of the more recent photos, so...

Well I'm definitely not imprisoning her o_O And we're not married.
She probably has BPD and some PTSDs and other issues, so obviously she has a lot of conflicting emotions going on inside. We've been trying to work on better communication.

^why else would someone go to all the trouble & effort to cheat though?

Is she Autistic/neuro-divergent too?

That's the only reason people cheat? Really?

TBH Mikurotoro92, that's a bit of a blunt response and could be quite hurtful. (earlier, viewtopic.php?f=6&t=428998&p=9744466#p9744329)

Maybe get to know SabbraCadabra's situation a little better before responding?

A lot of cheating isn't trouble and effort at all...seems like for some people, it's more effort to be faithful.
But there are numerous reasons people cheat.
Especially when BPD is involved, it really complicates a lot of things.

I'm not sure she's Autistic at all, but she's definitely not NT. But I suspect our son might've gotten PDA from her, so......hard to say!

I got cheated by one of my exes- and it was her roommate who leaked the info to me, explicitly.

Hey, cheating sucks and I’ve been there too!
A girl I’d been dejting for a couple of months went and slept with another guy. Her six year old son eventually accidentally told me they was seeing this guy, a week later she confirmed having had sex.
Now they live together and she has blocked me.

Even if she cheated, I don’t really care.
Now, you’re living with this girl and both of you are parents.

Just want you to know that you’re definitely not alone in having being cheated on!
Stay strong and try moving on, don’t revenge her.