Relationships are diminishing algorithms

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Having lived through many decades of the sociopolitical hierarchy, I have been asking myself what is the actual point of relationships? If the goal is to make meaningful and long-term connections with other people, how is it that every single person manages to change it into a con? I have watched people, even subconsciously, ruin every single relationship the same way, over and over, and they always blame the other person. Good people use the same manipulation tactics as bad people to protect themselves and inevitably use them against good people too. I used to think this was an NT/ ND issue, but my autistic mother turned out to be the biggest con artist of all. So I guess my question is, if we are a race of sentient beings, why is it we keep chasing diminishing relationship algorithms with scripted behavioral algorithms that have never worked believing that they will succeed? And to add a little spice to this discussion, why the heck isn't the purpose of life to learn to become a better person? It's almost as if social political and religious design was created to encourage ignorance and ostracize self-awareness.

Maybe we aren't really meant to have romantic relationships and our default state is to be alone?

I know the purpose of romantic relationships and marriage is to create & build connection to another person through investment but investing too much is VERY DANGEROUS because of the Sunk-Cost Fallacy!! !

Hmm...


EDIT: The key to not becoming too invested in a relationship that might ultimately not work out is to purposely hold back on investing a lot of resources into the dating stage

What I mean is don't go on dates constantly & consistently and don't invest a lot of money into your partner during the process!

This means NO 1000 dollars engagement ring or fancy 5-course meal dinner!

Oh and no sex during the dating cycle

Sex automatically creates an attachment to your partner which we want to AVOID

That's how you beat the Sunk-Cost Fallacy!! !

You just need to go on enough dates to gauge and assess compatibility

Any more dates or years spent in the dating stage and when it comes time for marriage it would be harder or next-to-impossible to break away from the relationship if divorce becomes necessary!

Really THINK long & hard about if you want to get married...

Very good advice. I think the idea of marriage is a paradox. Humans want connection and family, but they also want freedom. So the idea that you get married to someone when you're young expecting that you're going to stay together for decades is flawed. Historically, marriage has been a financial arrangement and only recently had anything to do with love. The way the economy is going, I think we might be heading towards more of a group polyromantic dynamic simply because "y'all going to have to live together anyway cuz you can't afford to live by yourself." If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have married my best friend and just allowed an open relationship. You can have the physical stuff with anybody. It's really hard to find somebody you enjoy talking with.

As much as I want & desire it there is no denying the awful truth...

Marriage is Imprisonment!! !! !!

You voluntarily imprison yourself when you make the choice to get married!! !

That's what you are really doing but people are blinded to that fact because they are either corrupted by the Sunk-Cost Fallacy, corrupted by the prospect of a wedding ceremony or corrupted by the so-called "honeymoon stage" of a romantic relationship!

Maybe even all 3

What are your thoughts about my analysis @LilyMoon?



EDIT: Honestly, anything involving a long-term contract equals imprisonment

I am thinking of possibly pursuing an animation and voice acting career but I KNOW contracts are definitely involved there!! !

However, those are both careers so having contracts makes sense in those environments

ESPECIALLY for doing voice-overs & animation for a long-running cartoon television series like SpongeBob SquarePants or The Simpsons

The writers and voice actors knew what they were signing up for

What I am getting at is this:

I believe we need to do away with contracts in marriage

Let the couple decide and determine the length of their relationship instead of predetermining it with a contract!! !

This means less chance of becoming imprisoned!

NO MORE "until death do you part"

In fact, I believe wedding vows should be completely overhauled and revised

Like you said, the original purpose of a marital contract was for financial purposes to bring together a man & woman who couldn't stand each other and the introduction of "marriage for love" is a recent development

Meaning that signing a contract for 2 people who truly love each other no longer makes sense or is logical because you shouldn't need a piece of paper to prove your love to someone!! !

It feels manipulative...

Specifically...the government are the ones who are manipulating the couple by forcing them to sign the marriage contract! !!

That's what I am referring to

Psychologists studied how all relationships tend to fall apart at roughly the same quantity in "relationship satisfaction". Relationships that stand the test of time are the ones where the relationship satisfaction stays at about 80%. Should it slip below 65% for any length of time to speak of? That relationship is doomed.

Miku, I can see you're passionate about this topic

What...is THIS?!?

Really, I need to show this to all of my married friends & neighbors who think their marriages are infallible!! !

It might even help me ultimately make the choice about MY marriage...

Yep. Autistic people would do well to think looooong and hard about how to get into a relationship which is 80% of the time satisfying.

Is this response meant to be sarcastic or played 100% straight?

If you open the box you may find your relationship dead.
Leave it in superposition.

Um...what?

Lol

100% straight.

It is a useful way of passing wealth from generation to generation.
If you are married in Connecticut and your spouse passes there are rules that make it easy for you put all the property in your name only. I easily changed the deed on our home to just my name.

If you are living together for fifteen years and your partner passes it is a huge mess.
I know someone who complained bitterly about that.

The founder of Vanguard, a big investment company, came up with the idea of designated beneficiaries.
You can now designate someone besides a relative to receive an investment when you die.
A private school will receive some funds to maintain a scholarship when I die.

That's very kind of you - leaving behind a scholarship fund!

The only relationships I have known are familial, sexual and friendship. They weren't all with the same person so, worry not!

I wonder if I'd get on best with an Autist or an NT? I think the most similar type of person to myself would be probably be my ideal partner. So, they'd need to leave me alone a lot of the time. I couldn't be doing with some energiser bunny type who wanted me to do non sedentary stuff.