not being able to physically speak in some situations

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PlatypusPerson211
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11 Oct 2025, 6:11 pm

this started happening to me but I cant physically to cashiers teachers and other people in general does anyone get this as well?


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nick007
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11 Oct 2025, 7:16 pm

My girlfriend sometimes experiences bad anxiety that causes her to shut down or to not know what to say. It's worse when she feels like others are not listening or not taking her seriously. Do you experience anxiety in those situations :?:


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11 Oct 2025, 7:20 pm

Only when being intimidated by bullies who are superior to me. People tell me I have to assert myself to bullies but I just can't because the words don't come out. I just give little squeaks instead, probably my inner timid mouse coming out. What would be easier is to just whack them, but I know that would get me into trouble (as self-defence seems to be illegal these days), and I know bullies know how to play victim anyway, so instead I just stare at them, feeling small and stupid, then after they've gone I break down into tears like the wimpy little weak snowflake that I am.


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12 Oct 2025, 8:38 am

Is that called "selective mutism"? I think it's rather common for autistic people. One of my sons has that. We try to give him a lot of time to reply, and not think too much if he didn't manage to say anything. We got him a medic alert tag that says he can not speak when stressed. So far he hasn't needed to use it.


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PlatypusPerson211
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13 Oct 2025, 8:29 am

I feel anxiety but not always to some teachers yes to cashiers yes but also some teachers no.


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18 Oct 2025, 1:26 pm

Both my daughters had elective mustism. Sometimes it would help if they could use a written response as an alternative. Sometimes if they could raise a finger as if to say, "just a minute, please", it could be helpful. Deaf people sometimes carry a pad and paper so that they can communicate with those who do not know sign language.

Some times the cause is anxiety. Sometimes the cause id trying to assess an avalanche of sensory and cognitive information. However, the other party is left not knowing if you are just taking your time or are unwilling to answer.



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18 Oct 2025, 1:38 pm

^Another potential option for some is to type on their phones. There are programs that convert text to speech. However that will mostly just help people who know what they want to say but are having problems speaking it. Those methods won't really help people like my girlfriend who get overwhelmed & confused about what is being asked or expected & how they should respond.


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Tamaya
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18 Oct 2025, 1:43 pm

It wouldn't really help in my situation either, because the only time I'm unable to speak is when I'm being confronted by an intimidating person, so it's a bit out of context to get my phone out and type in "f**k off".

It's more of a freeze thing, like a fight or flight response with me. I freeze up and suddenly lose all my words, because of sudden anxiety. The easier thing to do is to hit them, but then they'd play victim with that and I'll be the one in trouble, even if they deserved it. So I just stand and stare at them instead, opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish.

Then people tell me to stand up for myself. I know they mean well by advising me that, but it's really difficult when you suddenly lose all your words during a confrontation. I don't do confrontations very well, it just makes me clam up like a wimp.


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Karralane
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20 Oct 2025, 8:44 pm

I have the anxiety response in confrontation. My tongue feels like it swells up, my throat goes really try.

Oddly enough yrs ago in addiction i had a really gnarly past life vision that kind of maybe explained it, if it was real.



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21 Oct 2025, 12:04 pm

This happens to me when ever I have to start a conversation with a stranger. Or ask a question in general. I like to describe it as words disappearing from my mind only to be replaced with pictures of what I want to say, in the wrong order of what I want to say.


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LittlestLilly
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07 Nov 2025, 3:22 am

Tamaya wrote:
Only when being intimidated by bullies who are superior to me.


One way to start is to realize that no one is superior than anyone else, especially bullies. Bullies are small and weak - they'd have to be in order to be bullies. If you aren't bullying anyone, then you're not the small and weak one.



Tamaya
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07 Nov 2025, 6:07 am

LittlestLilly wrote:
Tamaya wrote:
Only when being intimidated by bullies who are superior to me.


One way to start is to realize that no one is superior than anyone else, especially bullies. Bullies are small and weak - they'd have to be in order to be bullies. If you aren't bullying anyone, then you're not the small and weak one.


I don't think that's entirely true. Some bullies really are the happy-go-lucky type and are just so full of themselves and have so much popularity and confidence that they just know they got nothing to lose if they pick on wimps like me, especially that I got branded a thief and a liar by him for making a couple of impulsive mistakes.


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LilyMoon
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14 Nov 2025, 8:43 pm

Mutism when I was young...
...sister and grandma tricked me every time I opened my mouth and thought it was funny to make me cry, so I'm safe if I don't speak.


Mutism in adulthood...
...I've been in this situation before. I can see the trap. I feel the other shoe is about to drop, no matter what I say. Yup, that shoe is dropping. All hell's breaking loose now. Crawl under the table or run, I can't decide.



cherry fox
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17 Nov 2025, 5:05 am

this happens to me too, usually tho it happens when i’m anxious, and sometimes people think i’m ignoring them … it happens especially if i’m having a panic attack



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17 Nov 2025, 7:59 pm

The older I get the more I feel like that

Frequency intensity duration



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19 Nov 2025, 11:10 am

It's basically a problem with your executive function with most people. It's been called many things over the years.

It can happen pretty easily with people on the autism spectrum, but it happens to other types of people. It happens to me sometimes too, for physical reasons.

I suggest taking away as many of the difficult parts of the situation as possible so that you have less to deal with. Then it may be easier to get the words out in one way or another.

Remove yourself from the stress for a few moments would be the first step most of the time.