People who look for people to complain about

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roronoa79
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27 Nov 2025, 11:32 pm

I'm really not sure what to call this, not sure if there's a term I'm not thinking of or not. I think it's easier to show with examples.

Basically, there are times I talk to people, and it seems like they intentionally seek out people to look down on. I find it kind of off-putting and mean-spirited. For example:

I had a friend who *hated* vegans/vegetarians. She seemed to seek out the lowest common denominator among those group, and then look down on the whole group like they ascribe to niche/extreme views. For example: complaining about vegetarians who think it's wrong to let any animals eat meat, regardless of basic biology. I'm sure there are some vegetarians or vegans who think this, but at the same time... this is a small segment of a massive group of people with widely differing reasons for being vegetarian/vegan? But she fixates on low denominators like that, and spends time seeking them out online or content that focuses on them. She would do similar things with stuff like fandoms, but... Why? I get some fandoms are incredibly toxic, but she seemed to actively seek them out just to look down at those people or justify looking down on the whole group.

Or just now, I found my sister doing the same thing, and it makes me really uncomfortable. She's watching podcasts that seek out and make fun of the lowest common denominator of...fat activists? Again, any group of people anywhere under the sun is going to have at least some unreasonable, unrealistic views, but why spend *So. Much. Time.* consuming this kind of media? She's never mentioned any fat activists or fat person hurting her or looking down on her or anything, so I'm really not sure how she went down that hole.

Anybody else deal with this? I just find it off-putting that some people go so far as to almost make it a hobby to seek out the lowest common denominator of a group, just to find more people to mock or look down on? I am in no way saying we shouldn't be critical of people and groups and movements that warrant criticism. But when you focus on the lowest denominator of multiple groups, it just seems...sad? It feels like it comes from insecurity that makes them *want* to find *someone* do look down on or feel better than. It's just self-fulfilling cynicism. It can't possibly be healthy.

What do I say to these people? I was just sitting with my sister after Thanksgiving, and she put on some podcast that cherry-picks activists to then break down or mock, and I just left the room (without saying why).

At just a personal level: why seek out things to be negative about?(And I say that as someone who loves studying history and war of all things). I'm one of the most depressed people I've ever met. I've been at least a little suicidal every day for almost half my life (I am safe right now and am not a danger to myself or others). Yet, on the outside, I am a sunny people-pleaser. Because life is negative enough without people intentionally killing the vibe. There's times people around me are negative about petty little things, and I sometimes I want to blow up or just make them really uncomfortable by saying some of the negative things I think every single day. (I have nothing to live for. I am just waiting to die. I was born alone and I will die alone. I should have ended it all in 2010. Thoughts like that). I have to actively try every day to not be hopelessly negative. I don't want to be around people who put out bitter, mean-spirited, cynical energy.


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I guess I just wasn't made for these times.
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Δυνατὰ δὲ οἱ προύχοντες πράσσουσι καὶ οἱ ἀσθενεῖς ξυγχωροῦσιν.
Those with power do what their power permits, and the weak can only acquiesce.

- Thucydides

Conservatism discourages thought, discussion, consensus, empathy, and hope.


Mona Pereth
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02 Dec 2025, 5:18 am

I too dislike being around people who always seem to looking for people to look down on. After all, such people will likely seize upon any excuse to look down on me too.


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