I hate being a non-drinker

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If I wasn't s**t scared of vomiting I would drink alcohol like everyone else, as in I would get drunk. I want to get drunk (not just "have one or two" just for the sake of it but actually get drunk if I'm gonna drink), but I know that a hangover would be inevitable for me.

Anyway, here's the main problem. At work we have random drink and drugs tests, and apparently a few people in the company are selected at random each week to have the test, if refused then it's an instant dismissal. That's fair enough but I've actually had about 20 or more since I've been working there, while everyone else I have spoken to who have worked there longer than I have have only had about three at the most, for some people only one even.
People say it might be because I don't drink or do drugs so maybe they purposely pick me a lot just to say that they're drug/drink testing people and all is well or something. If that is the case then I don't really think it's fair on me. I mean I don't mind having the test, as I have nothing to hide, but it's like a stark reminder that I don't drink like everyone else and that I'm just used as a sort of item to make the company look good or something.

Drinking alcohol is a big deal in the UK and if you don't drink alcohol then people think there's something wrong with you. It's why I eat like anything, because abusing your body seems to be the thing to do and if I don't drink, smoke or do street drugs, then I eat instead as a kind of comfort (even though the NHS is treating me like a morbidly obese person and keep offering me a flu vaccine because of my BMI being over 40 - but a lot of it is muscle, as I may eat a lot but I am not morbidly obese).

Does anyone know what I mean? I feel like the only one who is always in the office getting tested for drugs or alcohol and it's becoming a regular thing. I don't feel it's right though. I'm already ashamed of not being a conformist, without being reminded of it whenever I go to work. It's like all the office/management knows my lifestyle choices and just picks me out each time, it's happened way too many times to be a coincidence.

When I was in grad school in math in the 1970s, a very talented office mate of mine got fairly drunk at the end of his first year in grad school. Unfortunately, he threw up during the night and choked to death.

I drank far less after that than I did before. These days, I may easily go a year or more without an alcoholic drink.

Did you say somewhere else you were friendly with your supervisor, Tamaya? Can you talk to them about feeling disproportionately called upon?

I don't drink. I used to but it just wasn't for me. My dad has this genetic condition and one of the potential symptoms is the complete inability to process alcohol.

When I used to drink, I'd get bad stomach pain. Drinking even one was enough to make me feel sedated. I'd go hyper, then I'd get horrible stomach pain, then I'd fall asleep.

If I managed to stay awake, and if I dared to drink one or two more, then I'd get sick. Getting drunk was never an option because I'd either pass out or get sick just by having a couple of drinks. That's no exaggeration.

The whole not being able to process alcohol thing skipped my dad but I seem to have inherited it.

I've had comments about not drinking. Mainly 'How do you cope with being alive?' Or 'So, what's your vice then?' (Coffee)

However, I'd say that people are becoming a lot more accepting these days. Usually I get 'Oh, that's ok, they have great mocktails, you should come anyway' or 'You could just have a Sprite'.

Typically I just say I don't like the taste (which is true) and don't go into any further detail. It is awkward though when someone gifts me booze because they didn't know.

Whenever I've drank alcohol before I've always ended up with physical discomfort, not the feeling of being drunk. Like when I was a teenager on a vacation with my family I had a couple of glasses of Bacardi and coke, and I began feeling bloated already so didn't want any more. Then when I got into bed I felt really sick and queasy.

Then when I had a couple of beers in a bar one time a few years ago, I felt a weird sensation in my legs, a similar sort of discomfort when you're have the flu. Sort of like dull cramps all down my legs and the urge to just lie down and not be disturbed.

So drinking doesn't do much for me. I don't know how everyone does it. I do feel ashamed sometimes of not drinking. I wish I could get drunk by bravely drinking one after another until I'm stupid. That would really enhance my social life.

It's why I avoided going out when I was younger. It wasn't because I didn't like people or socialising. I was a socialiser when I was a child. But as soon as I got old enough to drink alcohol I suddenly backed away from social gatherings because of the pressure to drink and seeing everyone else drinking. Even though I'm not a serious person really, I suddenly felt all serious and boring at social events. If I could go to a bar where there wasn't any alcohol available, I'd probably feel a lot more comfortable.

Damn Emetophobia.

I don't mind not drinking, I only drink 1 beer for the flavour and that's enough. But I hate being expected to drink. I avoid getting drunk for the same reason as you, I've been mildly light headed from wine before and found that scary. I am quite happy to have a nice time and mirror the loose energy of my tipsy friends with none of the physical effects of drinking.
I know people who are way too into alcohol and treat me like an alien for not being. I went to a new years house party in 2022/23 and the host kept pestering people to have a drink because he thinks we're not having a good time otherwise. A couple of us stuck to soft drinks and he kept complaining! I was getting fed up with him because I shouldn't have to tell him I'm scared of getting sick from alcohol he should respect my first no with no further questions. The party was great otherwise. Because my friends were there and I was having a laugh with them, I went to see my mates I didn't go for a liquid.

A huge bonus of not drinking is no hangover. On new years day after that party while others were recovering I had a spring in my step and went to the gym on the way home. The taxi driver thought I was brave for going to the gym after a new years bash lol. He just assumed that I would be hungover.

It's the culture we live in. It's considered "normal" to drink, but is considered a problem or an illness if one is an alcoholic. But being right at the other end of the scale (being a teetotaler) feels just as lonely and even problematic as being an alcoholic.

Maybe I should attend an AA meeting and say, "hello, my name is Tamaya and I'm too scared to drink any alcohol but it has always affected my social life as it has for you guys."

It's why I eat a lot. I mean, I don't think there are many people on this planet at all who don't abuse their body in some way, be it consuming alcohol, nicotine, weed, or sugar - unless you're a child or elderly or have some sort of severe health complications or something, I don't know. (Although children can consume sugar, so it can't be that bad). But the average person does abuse their bodies in some way, and in my case it's sugar. I mean, I'm not into exercise or going to the gym or anything, but it seems that so many people I know who do go to the gym still drink and/or smoke or do stupid weed or something like that. So who on earth is actually healthy in this culture?


My teeth are healthy though.