Did autism become your special interest after late diagnosis

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My story. I was 49, out of work, with a wife and two teenage kids, taking an online intro psych class because I was half-seriously thinking about going back for a PhD.

During a Q&A, the professor mentioned Asperger’s. I’d never heard the word. I’d heard “autism” but didn’t know what it actually meant.

So I did what I always do when something grabs me: I went all in.

Over the next few months I read Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Asperger's multiple times, took every online test I could find, and started documenting traits and memories. I then got formally diagnosed at 50.

Then I did the engineer thing: I started doubting it. Apparently this is common.

So the investigation continued for another year+ — therapy, a second opinion, more books, and even two autism studies (eye-tracking + EEG). For a while, learning about autism and studying my life became my special interest.

And then, after a couple of years, the special interest faded. I stopped thinking about autism every day. It had explained what it needed to explain, and my brain moved on.

Fast forward about 10 years: I’m 62 now, and I recently turned all that material (journals, WP posts, letters, diary entries, notes, etc.) into a memoir.

And, for better or worse, the special interest engine kicked in again. I just can't help it.

Going back through it has been harder than I expected — revisiting the confusion, the relief, the doubt, and seeing younger versions of me in even more depth.

So I'm curious. For those of you diagnosed late: did autism become a special interest for you too? If so, did it fade over time, or are you still deep in it?

This is a really common thing, it's a bit like newly out of the closet gays getting really into the queer scene and stuff like that.

I was diagnosed at 11 so neither late nor early, late enough to remember it and remember the way it changed how people treat me and how I saw myself. And yes, autism has been an on and off again topic of intense interest since I was a teenager. It peaked when I was about 16 (around the time I joined this forum the first time) then faded after a few months but it comes and goes in waves. I actually hate it, I hate being interested in it. Because I get more self conscious so makes it feel more severe because of how focused on the topic I am. I feel very relieved whenever the interest goes away because I'm less likely to pathologise myself in my quest for autism related knowledge. So I have greater self confidence day to day and just go about life acting natural and not thinking much about it.

Every other interest brings me genuine joy, even when the repetition gets annoying, this one brings me nothing but annoyance. It's like getting my least favourite song stuck in my head. For years I avoided the topic because I believed (and still half do) that I shouldn't have been diagnosed, for unrelated reasons and was in angry denial because of negative past experience with overmedicalisation.
I stopped being in full denial a few years ago but didn't really do much research or anything. Just shrugged and moved on.

I had a recent spike in interest after a stranger made an offhand remark to/about me at a wedding reception. And the whole weekend was full of experiences that made me feel a bit alienated and defective. I came away defeated and I was just thinking things like I'll never be normal I'm not fooling anyone I'm just a stupid ret*d (I'm quoting my thoughts not calling anyone a ret*d). So I figured well fine, if I am infact an autist worthy of a label then I may as well make peace with it and engage with the topic on my own terms. And then boom, it's suddenly interesting again. I've already made peace ages ago tho, let me go back to baseline now!

yes. diagnosed 6 years ago at age 68, I spend 2 to 5 hours a day reading, writing, searching for information and interacting with others with late diagnosis or seeking diagnosis.

I began a blog before I got diagnosis, about my search for diagnosis, learning about autism and dealing with ageing all at one time.

I moderate 3 pages on FB and admin one of them as well, all aimed at elders and autism, participate in several online pages/groups. I am just trying to share and inform, wanting others to discover the answer to so many painful"whys" of the past and discover for themselves ways to make every day living easier and better through self understanding and self accommodations.

Still a passion, information and research aimed at adults 50 and over is increasing but still very rare, accounting for only a very small percentage of scientific study, research dollar expenditures, and programs aimed at helping us find diagnosis or to obtain aid in any ways at all.
You are not alone! (I am based in the USA)
cheering on those individuals who seek information about autistic elders and share it with others.

Autism itself never became my special interest at any point in time.
Because while I only researched about the topic, I'm mostly just looking for whatever describes me.

And I barely gotten out of it that describes and relates to myself.
Because it turns out, things that autism alone cannot explain was something beyond neurodivergence for me.

The very thing I kept looking at and thought was autism wasn't autism nor is in autism. As I kept looking for whatever that I thought was in autism, all I kept seeing was patterns of stories of other autistics that do not fit, do not resonate... Not even for reasons other autistics feeling different amongst other autistics.
It wasn't even neurodivergence. There's not even a label at all. Only evidence of what is not what I'm looking for.

My true "special interest" after diagnosis was still a 'why am'I different'? Autism can only explain so far, neurodivergence can tell only so far. Looked through personality disorders and mental illness; still doesn't fit because I've been looking for something that has no label for.

Thankfully the chase finally ended just last year Christmas. It only had taken me 15+ years since autism diagnosis, 20+ years since realizing I'm different.
And then that's when I somewhat understood what it actually felt like to be diagnosed 'late' and "this explains everything" phenomenon.

Yet, upon discovering the explanation of 'why am'I different'; it only lasted a week for me to integrate the facts for myself. So instead of becoming a special interest, it ended the interest.

While whatever interest I have towards neurodivergence died, all remains of me are habits of that decades long pursuit.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Thanks everyone for sharing. The range here is exactly what I was curious about.

autisticelders - The work you're doing for elders is very important. It's definitely an underserved community.

Fishyfisherton - The waves you describe (interest -> relief when it fades -> triggered again) really resonates.

Edna3362 - Your journey beyond autism is fascinating. Sounds like you finally found what you were looking for.

Double Retired - Fair point.

Appreciate you all taking the time. Helpful to see the different paths.