I am not interesting

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I cannot fathom how others expect me to not only think I am interesting, but think that I am so interesting that I should blab on and on about myself to others.

I do not think anything interesting has ever happened to me. I do not say interesting things. I do not do interesting things. I can't actually think of what I would do that people would find interesting. I've definitely never said anything interesting on this site before.

Forcing myself to act like I think I am interesting just makes me feel as dead inside as anytime I have to force myself to act any other way. Why not ask me to force myself to try to think paint drying is interesting? How am I to feel when I meet someone who somehow actually thinks paint drying is interesting? Would you have me lie and pretend I think it's interesting too? People can ask me to either be honest or pretend I find myself interesting, because those things are mutually exclusive. I was not born yesterday. I do not appreciate being patronized, and I don't know how people expect me to respond when I feel like they are asking me to basically patronize others and myself. For Christ sake, people try to tell me my life is interesting, you know, the life I avoid ever talking about, which means they do not know what they are talking about. How the hell am I not supposed to feel patronized in that situation? I'm autistic: I've spent life being patronized; I am not so easily duped as I permit the people around me to believe.

What's more, I struggle to find anyone else's life interesting either. People's lives are so dull I want to claw my eyes out any time I have to feign interest in others. It's okay, I feel terrible about that! My lack of interest in others is my fault! I am the problem! I am always the problem! I've considered cutting myself until I feel the right amount of interest in others, but people always act really alarmed when I say things like that. But if I don't cut myself, people will think I'm just fine with the wrong feelings I have! People hate when I feel wrong things, but they hate it even more when I'm willing to go to great lengths to try and correct my wrong feelings and wrong thoughts.

One example of this was when I was starting to apply to colleges, and I had absolutely nothing to say about myself. So many applications ask you to describe some influential or interesting time in your life and I??????????????????What?????????

My parents would mention that it's important I learn how to sell myself and I????????????WHAT????????????WHAT????????????
What in the everloving hell are they talking about?? Did those people think I have any self-esteem whatsoever?
It was rather amusing watching them fret after having found out that I do not care about anything that has ever happened to me. It felt gross saying that, but when I feel patronized it is very hard to feel bad when I upset people by just saying what I honestly think without trying to be mean. People say things with so much certainty and wonder why I can't take them seriously when I can pull the rug out from under them in half a millisecond.

I'm also one of those types who aren't interesting. I'm plain vanilla. I was surprised years ago when an old woman said that I had quite the personality and another said, "Kinks Fan."