Not exited to be one year older.

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In a few days, I will turn 16 years old. And I really really am not exited. I tend to only see the “One year closer to death.” Aspect of birthdays, which may not be the healthiest outlook but it’s really the only way I can look at it without feeling like a liar. Im curious if there’s anyone out there who may feel the same way about it, because i can’t be alone in feeling like my livelihood is rapidly being chipped away.

I hate getting older, but still haven't figured out how to stop it.

With each passing year, I feel that more is expected of me. It's not fun.

Welcome to Wrong Planet AHuman ....aging seems unavoidable . So to worry before your time could be seen as wasted energy . There will be plenty of time to worry as you age. And some people consider Worrying. as one of the causes of aging . And even some of worry about aging , might not be worried about until such time as you are facing the more serious difficulties . Death is unavoidable , and you might better devote thoughts towards a better future, however long that may or may not be . .. That line in your Opening Post , sounds just like a line from a song by Pink Floyd. " One day closer to death"
" Fritter and Waste the hours in a offhand way"was part of that song too.
That affected me at a very much younger age. Song called "Time ". But it was the rest of that song that helped drive me to become more dedicated to making my life ,be more productive . And your point of veiw might be revolent here? If ,you see your friends, as I did as a bunch of partying drunkards and experimenting with hard drugs at that age.
And as you know having any friends as a Aspie,can be a hard thing to give up.The Song caused me to think, if I wanted to be like that? Eventually becoming successfully self employed.In my early 20's and was only part time,due to disability,and had other jobs ,that was over 40 yrs ago.
Best Wishes for your Birthday, Have the best one, You might be able to ,

Welcome aboard Ahtey.
Also... Welcome to morbid fascination.
16...i wish.. if I knew then what I know now
My advice would be.. grow your hair, dye it black and hang with the Goths.

You may be able to stop masking altogether and avoiding sunlight is great for the complexion.

You are never going to believe the people i hang out with lol.
Very stupidly I am not a goth myself. I grew my hair out(with no need to dye it black.), and ended up a metalhead that likes bands who put dead people on their album covers. The goths are very nice and lovely people, though I am a zombie among the vampires.

It's okay to be a Hun among Goths, they're usually pretty tolerant for barbarians.

AFTER REREADING YOUR OP writing Ahuman,, it does occur to me that your writing does appear to Have a bit of Goth appearance/ flavour to it . btw no offence meant to any juicers ( drinkers) in the crowd here, per previous post.

Absorbed from my cousins at the manor, of course.

There's a manor involved?
This is getting deliciously Addams family.

I'm not keen on screamers but perhaps my music thread will appeal to the metalhead within.
Thrash-puppy central

Will check the thread out.

And yes, a manor. A large desecrated structure with spires and big, domed baroque ceilings where the vampires roost. And it’s on top of a hill in the middle of a place where the tall grass stretches for miles and swallows those unfortunate enough to slip inside it whole.

awe this sounds Lovely , ......1313 Mockingbird lane? ... ..? Have a halloweenie friend ..actually lives on a street called Drury Lane . She makes no claim to Goth ..but if vou met her , she would appear more Actual Goth personna and house decor than most Goths you could ever meet ..

Perhaps my older cousins. Would know of her, they leave the grounds frequently. She sounds lovely.