A song about living in the neurotypical world.

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Hello. Wanna hear one illogial thing about me? Despite the fact that i always perfer direct speech, somehow it was always easier for me to express what i feel through various forms of art. And the art of storytelling was always my favorite. My special interest. The only thing that has meaning for me. I always told stories about others in form of novels or video games. But recently i decided to start telling stories about my own feelings and share them in form of songs. I have no idea if my own inner world can be of interest to anyone at all.

I don't have such people in my life, but maybe sharing it to the void of the internet is still better than not sharing at all. I just can't keep it all inside anymore.

And so i wrote the lyrics to this song, and the plot for the video in attempt to share the overall feelings on how the life in the society that was created for neurotypical people feels like. At least, that's how it feels like to me, but i have no idea if anyone else will feel the same. I know that the spectrum is big, and, perhaps, none of us are on the same page in life. So i am sharing it today to see how many of you can relate to anything at all that was shown or said in this video.

I dedicate it to everyone on this planet who can't find their place in life, to anyone who does not belong anywhere, who searches and searches but everything around is... Alien.



And for those, who do not enjoy or cannot listen to the music for some reason, here is the lyrics:

[Verse]
I'm an alien who crashed
In this strange and crazy land
Everyone believes i'm human
They just cannot understand

I’m decoding every gesture,
Every word that wasn't said
But the knowledge never settles
It's just fleeing from my head

[Chorus]
I am the rhyme in a world of cold math
I am a traveler stranded from path
I’m a radio signal lost in the deep
A promise the universe failed to keep

I am the error, mistake in a code
My sensors fried from overload
The perfect stranger, lost in the mist
I am the one... who should not exist.

[Verse]
I see their reflections,
They’re polished and bright
While I am the spectrum
That’s missing the light

I am the pulse of life
in a chest made of stone
The king of a country
I rule alone

[Chorus, powerful]
I am the rhyme in a world of cold math
I am a traveler stranded from path
I’m a radio signal lost in the deep
A promise the universe failed to keep

I am the error, mistake in a code
My sensors fried from overload
The perfect stranger, lost in the mist
I am the one... who should not exist.

[Outro]
And I’m walking through the echoes
Of a language I don’t share
In an endless search for meaning
Was it ever even there?

And I think I'll have forever
Carved deep into my skin
Scars from smile I have to bear
And from mask I have to wear.

Will I ever find a home?
Will I always be alone?
I wish... i wish to disappear.
Like i was... never... here.

There is also another song, much more niche since it's about specific symptom that, from my experience, most people with asd don't have - sudden mood changes. I tried to portray how it feels like not just with lyrics, but also with how music and vocal shifts and changes. Idk, maybe someone will be also interested in this: