Stuck in the middle with a little knowledge...

Post Reply New Topic

I'm wondering if anyone else has felt like this or experienced it and may have advice. I'm in career transition without a guide. I can't turn back, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing." I've been out of my old way too long, with too much knowledge about the possibilities, but not enough knowledge about how to get there. But I'm in panic mode.

Retail has been my day job for some years; I was a buyer for Tower Records for books and sidelines. They're gone, now, as are most of those types of jobs.

Anyway, the point...to prepare for selling/promotion of my own music and art, pre-asperger's knowledge, I studied sales and business. I have the concepts, and I think doing this hid my Asperger's on the surface. I think that made it worse: even though it helps me "fake normal" because I learned about eye contact, how to listen and modulate eyes, because when I interview for work, I know the answers and presentation, so when things happen latter, or people see me everyday, that act isn't going on. But interviewers ask you things. Customers in a commission setting don't; you have to approach and ask them. The anxiety is normal for anyone, for me, it's paralyzing. I know what to say, but have a hard time doing it.

I am overqualified to go back to entry level retail as a day job, yet unable to handle the constant stress of customers, etc. I've switched to graphic design, getting lucky with my first opportunity, but that was an unstable situation that didn't last. I haven't had that luck since a year ago. I worked in an office since I can now type, but it was a cubicle farm temp position. What I really want to do is design, but I have no degree, and despite the talent, which is confirmed, I am being told I'm not qualified re lack of experience. Not designing, I can do that in my sleep. But I have no contacts, no history outside of my own work. That seems to be more important than the skill as a designer.

It used to be, with music, I made friends by playing live or seeing local bands and the music provided a reason to interract. By default, I had a network. Now that my values have changed, I no longer associate with rock musicians daily, and am happy solo. But in those years, I've switched gears and have no network now. Designers seem somewhat cloistered to me: retail is street level, but designers are in offices hidden from the public and have gatekeeper secretaries. I don't have the resources to go freelance without working, I just feel like I am caught in the middle, leaving an old world, but no map to the new one.

I know it's like anything else, you have to start at the beginning. I'm not expecting to be handed a silver platter. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to change gears effectively so late in the game (late? I'm 33. feels late to me.) How do others make contacts in a field dominated by younger people already, with the knowledge of being autistic in the background? It seems the way in being presented to me is to schmooze and network instead of presenting my work, the opposite of retail. Without a degree, I have to work that much harder. I've been told NY is different; they just want to see portfolios, but in Philly, everyone wants a degree.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Try to find one person who already works in the field with who you can build arapport with and who can guide you.

There are always ways in via informal routes but you need some "inside" assistance to get this. You can do it if you persist.

BTW: 33 is young - don't let yourself be put off by the age argument.