Overanalyze to the point of no return

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Hello i am new this forum and i hate introductions. I don't really know why except that I find life more accepting when people already think you belong and therefore just get to the meat of the matter.

The most cursed trait of my existence is my systematic tendancies. I took the Aspie test posted on another posting which casts doubts on whether I have Asperger's or not. I have never been comfortable with any psych or personality test I have ever taken. I am too obessed with explaining things and absolutes. I think I bombed an interview recently because the question was whether or not I ever felt it was okay to break company policy. Of course I do if a dire situation calls for it. LOL. Unfortunately I don't think other people except people to be candid about those things.

I remember going to Madison as a toddler to see some expert to find out what was wrong with me. I just didn't like to talk especially to people whom I didn't see on a daily basis. Most of my toddler and preschool day memories seem to consist of adults testing me and trying to figure out why I wasn't normal. They seem really fasinated by the fact that I wasn't slow yet I only preferred talking when I was addressed to. My sister said the docs' gave me some kind of microphone contraption in which to talk into. Speech therapy I guess. The problem is that to this day I can't stand hearing the recording of my own voice. It took me into my twenties to connect with the person looking at me in my mirror. Yes I knew it was me yet it didn't feel like me if that makes any sense. Than again bodies always seemed more like a hinderance to me than a blessing.
Well I apologize for my babbling but when I muse on something I really muse on it.

Welcome to WP!

Tim

Welcome,

You can muse here.

Hi! Welcome to WP.

Just wanted to say I can totally relate to the bombing of the interviews. I'm completely incapable of holding a job where the boss and workers are any kind of "serious" or "professional". (Thank God for my unprofessional under the table boss, who's like an obnoxious yet lovable big brother) I feel like an ass when I look back at the jobs I've applied for in my younger years... you know, the ones where they make you take that personality test to see if you're "compatible" with their "beliefs and standards". Like where every other question is like "would you ever punch a customer in the face" or "when's the last time you smoked a J with your homies". I was always honest, like "yeah I smoke reefer, but not at work". Thinking that honesty would get me ahead or something. How silly of me...

Totally understand the obsession with explaining things, as I'm sure everyone who reads my posts sees clearly. It hurts me to not be detailed and exact.

Okay, I'm sorry for ranting all up on your thread, haha... welcome<3!

Welcome to WrongPlanet

Nice to meet you, Othila.

Well thank you all for reading my post. I know i sometimes get ahead of myself and end up typing monologues.

A note about my early childhood memories. Probably for about the last five years I have thought long and hard on my earliest ones because there was always so much mystery surrounding my family at that time. Whenever I sensed or had a hunch about something that I think I experienced, I asked my mom about it. The Madison trip was one of those. I guess the scientific term for it is reconstructed memory. Not quite by own but certainly in some way I experienced it because it struck a chord with me.