I just quit my course.

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Just a bit of a rant here.
I quit my course today. I only had to earn three more credits and I would have had my qualifications, but once again I took the stupid option and just gave up

I have no motivation and am a failure.
I am just going to be another person living life on the benefit and being a burden of society.

Everytime I nearly have something good, I lose motivation, comfidence and any ability to maintain my life and fail. I've been doing this all of my life, and endless cycle of motivation and then depression and then failure.

My family is mad at me because I never succeed. I am mad at myself for making stupid choices. I am mad at the world for being do darn hard
Sometimes I just want to crawl into my bed and stay there forever. That way I can just shut out the world and not worry about anything anymore. I hate myself.

Oh God I know that feeling. I know it because I've lived it. Then I learned I had AS, and that I wasn't like everybody else. I learned I can do anything anybody else can do- but here's the important part- not the same way as everybody else. Don't judge yourself by other's standards! I used to stop myself from focusing and stimming because I knew I wasn't 'supposed' to- I was supposed be doing my homework or helping around the house, etc. But you know what happened when I left myself focus and stim? I was HAPPY. I was weird and a 'failure' and HAPPY because I was MYSELF and I knew that that in iteslf is the only thing any of us, AS OR NT can hope to achieve. And I realized what things I really should be doing. I should be using my gifts and talents the way I work and not the way other people do, or else there is no point in being different.
Yah, you'll still fail at stuf. I do. Everybody does. It's normal, I promise. You've gone over more hurdles than you realized and have achieved more than you think in failing. You can't be strong unless you are weak first. You may not be successful like you thought you were going to, but in then end, you can still win. Life is a mystery we can't see every part of.
So take a deep breathe and let it all go. One day you will be able to see everything that you've achieved.

Hey, sorry to hear that I have had similar experiences at school. But I couldnt stay after or take the extra options they gave me because I was bullied at the time. Just keep going and pushing through it, it's what I did and I wish you luck for the future at the same time.

I know that feeling...not pleasant.

You're not alone in feeling like that, I've certainly been there myself. Can you fulfill that slot with another course? If so, find one that's a better fit. If that course in particular is required, then retake it with the knowledge and experience you gained the first time. There's no shame in feeling overwhelmed sometimes, it happens to all of us.