Love

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It will come to me right? I can't be asked to go to my true love, because let's face it...I don't do all that speed dating s**t and that. I see it as some girl bumping into me.

I know I'm only 16, and I've got my whole life ahead of me, but do you think I will ever get a girlfriend?

I know for sure, I am not getting married or having kids, regardless what anybody says. I've always depicted my future of having a girlfriend and nothing else.

But I have the good looks, the great personality, I am Mr Right trapped inside a socially inept self.

I can be pro-active etc. What puts off girls when they see me?

The look of fat? The fallacies they hear about me in school? What?

Is it my shy appearance? Maybe because I look lost or under confident?

I don't know.

You wonder why I so desperately want a girlfriend.

Well its kind of hard not to think of not having one, with all the people going out and stuff around me.

It's because I really want to broaden my horizaons and have someone else to talk to as well as my mum you see?

Someone to express my feelings and all that love s**t you know?

Any thoughts on this one people?

Of course you will. There is a match for everyone out there. The hard part is finding them.

Give it time; you'll find her yet!

Will I really?

When I've always had down in my life.

I think I'm one of those people who will only have friends.

The best way to find someone is just not to try...Of course, you should still try to meet people and make friends; but don't become desperate to find a girlfriend. That isn't healthy. People who are successful in love are probably those who are happy to be alone; happy with themselves and with a healthy sense of self-worth. If I were you I'd just focus on living my life and making myself feel good.

Thanks for the advice Aridarr.

I have been thinking, and I'm better off with the friends I've got and just leave it there.

Lol, you sound like me when i was 16 , you'll keep thinking "maybe next year i have better luck". And thats exactly the best way to become frustrated, now i always answer such questions with wisdom of the buddha: the cause of all suffer is the desire, so if you kill the desire, your suffering will come to an end. I kept thinking like you till 21, then i gave up and started depicting my life alone, that helps a lot. The more you condition your brain into the desire to have a girlfriend, the harder it becomes to live alone. If you condition your brain by not having that desire (for example, every time you think at a possible gf, or you think of relationships, you start summing up the negative points of a relation, that way, your brain will a relation not associate with the wonderful heaven on earth that you thought it would be, but you'll have a more realistic view of the advantages and disadvantages of a possible relation) life will become a lot easier alone.

Thanks for that.

I will get a girl, but probably not for a long time.

There's no point worrying, I'm going enough s**t (depression) as it is. Still, I don't think I will ever a girl, and I don't care.

When I look at people with girlfriends I ask, Why?

Total jerk, self destructive, IQ of a toad, and some girl is doing the deal.

More girls in all age brackets, millions of real jerks in jail, and girls are only allowed the living.

I will take the other side, you have been lucky so far, protect yourself.

For now you are jailbait, but at 18, fair game. Learn to hide in deep cover, they are after you.

My friend's mother was very nice, one day he was not there, but his mother was, naked.

Ask people who cut grass or clean pools what life is like.

Women marry guys who will get out in five years.

On discharge day they are waiting at the gate with a car, looking over the released.

A girlfriend will find you, have the FBI run a background check.

Women will ruin a young man like you, and enjoy doing it.

I'm the same. Except I'm a girl, and I think I'll never get a boyfriend. But that's true, especially if I never go out and meet people.

Don't give up! If you give up, you'll never find someone... Unless that someone is just settling for you. Bad situation. Yeah, be proactive, but not too pushy. Guys can be like that sometimes, a turn off for most girls, but I find that attractive! I'm weird!

I know how you feel, but somehow I don't get the part about bumping into someone. I know I've been attracted to more people, more intensely, than people even notice me. I'm a total failure, but I pretty much know what kind of guy I want, and I'm not giving up on that.

Your best bet is another Aspie, or someone similar that can understand your feelings. And see that it takes a lot of work to find someone and guts to tell her your feelings. For now... cheer up... *hugs*

I feel the same way.

I also feel that I would do better with another Aspie.

Tim

I have decided two things:

1. I will not settle for anything less than a nice girl, who is not a drama queen and doesn't play games, and with whom I have some common/compatible interests. Anything less is just not worth the trouble, and I prefer never even kissing or holding hands again in the rest of my life to settling for less.

2. I will not act this role of cocky-funny sociable jerk. If that is what it takes to find someone, I prefer celibacy. If a girl knowingly goes fora jerk, then I simply don't want her, or even respect her.

I don't really have any advice to give, as everything has failed for me: being myself, not being myself, actively looking for a gf, not actively looking for one, etc. But I know what you mean about it being tough when others around you are dating - it's maybe tougher when everybody around you is either getting married, or planning to, or already married, or think they've missed the boat (maybe I'm made of stone and would sink the boat anyway).

When i was at the day hospital i met a girl and she said i should move to where she lives but i wanted to move to somewhere else so she lost interest in me. maybe she nevr had any interest in me at all:S i don't know how to tell.

I do not believe there is someone for everyone some people live life alone