Some of Us Like Being Autistic

Post Reply New Topic

I sent a letter to the newspaper in response to a grandmother of an autistic boy, after her comments on autism being an "insidious condition" offended me.

Wow Good Job, and i totally agree with you, i dont have autism, i am autistic, and i wouldn't have it either way!

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

You make a good point, there. I have struggled to get this across a few times to NTs, who seem to view autism as a way of acting, or choosing to act, than a way of being. I cannot cast off my AS like a bad mood, whenever I feel like it. For example, I was trying to explain sensory overload to someone. They immediately said, "Oh, I get like that." As if it were an occasional malady, and not something that for me, is inevitable if I don't take steps to avoid or curtail certain situations.

Every time I describe autism or Asperger's Syndrome to anybody I do so in a really excited, jolted manner of speaking. Most people in my PE class think I'm mentally challenged for my head jerks and line-following.

After watching Mozart and the Whale, and reading more and more about autism, I think I have a higher functioning form of Asperger's Syndrome. I mean, I don't take medication, and in most situations I handle alright.

I started thinking back and I remember doing all sorts of stuff. I used to hit my head against the wall, flap my hands, eat grass and paper, and go hours without talking. There's probably more, but they must have been so deeply embedded that I don't remember

I feel kinda sad that I've integrated into NT society so much I've given up those autistic traits. I've begun an autistic withdrawal lately, hoping my mind will revert back to the way it was. Is that weird, wanting to be more autistic?

I'm writing a book set in a world where autistics seperate themselves from NT society by establishing their own schools. There they learn the Autistic Disciplines, the combined behavioral modification and social conditioning and mental stability techniques so that autistics can function in normal NT society, but are still able to withdrawal whenever they want.

Speaking of hiding it, I have recently given myself permission to rock gently in public, whenever I feel the need. The other day, I was sitting on a bench, waiting for the bus, and gently rocking. Two college girls soon joined me. I was deep in thought, and when I finally looked up, I could see the old, familiar look of bewilderment. The girl quickly looked at her friend, and then back at me. Finding this irritating, I went on ignoring them. I could feel this tension, as they continued to communicate silently about me. I wonder why rocking is so disturbing to them, and so pleasant to me. Perhaps I should have started disrobing? At least their consternation would then be justified, at least to me!

I really don't like clothes. It feels good to be . And for some reason I have no sense of societal taboos. So I can go walking down the street in my boxers, or shirtless, and just say "I'm autistic, b***h." At least, I wish I could.

so the Licensed Clinical Social Worker said "Have you ever thought of acting??" and I said "oh, yes! I am acting now" and she says "oh, where? one of the dinner theatres In Ashland?" and I said, "No, right here, right now, with you!" and she says "what do you mean? I don't see any acting" and I said "Bingo!" "What do you think, I live exclusively with NTs for almost 60 years and you think I don't know how to act?"

I still don't think she actually comprehends what I was trying to tell her.
we are poly neural, they are uni neural. They have no idea.


Merle

I would never want to be "normal".

I've noticed most NTs have no sense of self, and end up miserable because of it later in life.
The prognosis: Apollyon likes her brain.

One of my former bosses told me once, (after I'd gotten comfortable around my co-workers) that I should get into acting. I told her, I can't act. She laughed pretty hard and said, "oh yes you can! you do it all the time and you're good at it!"

Funny how I can't see myself, outside of myself.

I heard on NPR this guy who was saying how offensive it was to say that you wished that your kid didn't have autism but they still loved their kid. It is part of who we are and our personalities. He said it is equivalent to saying, "Oh I love my kid, but I wish that my kid was a boy instead of a girl, but I still love them."

I people shouldn't pity us for how we think and interact with the world.

For some reason it reminds me of the Stepford Wives. I never saw the movie but I read the book and it is the scariest thing I have ever read. This was before I knew I had AS, but the throught that someone (my parents) would change me if they had the chance or at least delude themselves into thinking this new thing they create is me, scared the hell out of me. Because I know that they would. If my mother had a magic wand to change me, I know she would. And I equate that with wanting to erase the other's soul and existance.

I want to tell people about myself, and how I interact with the world and how I think and feel about things, and not have it belittled. But it is misunderstandings such as the newspaper article which prevent me and others probably from being open about themselves.

Interesting that you bring up Stepford Wives, because this (concept) is mostly how I view NT society.

I don't like the idea of being forced to change, either unwillingly or unknowingly- for "my own good". My own good according to whom? They don't know me.