proving your aspieness, do your work colleagues care

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

Morrissey
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 95
Location: Cambridge, UK

27 Nov 2007, 8:05 am

Hi, I find it frustrating on a daily basis to not find the right balance in my personality at work and the social balance in the workplace.

I am a very giving person, although I may be a confused, a little schizophrenic introverted aspie. As part of my personality I like to be a little charming and at the best of times warm and receptive to fellow co-workers.

Does anyone feel that you really try hard (despite your problems) to try and chat more in the workplace? even if it means acting a little to meet the interaction demands so the atmosphere runs more smoothly than if you sat there detached from your environment.

I try this on a day to day basis. To speak more. To really concentrate on reciprocating with my colleagues to make life better for them and for me to feel comfortable.

Sometimes it's ok, but I just feel that my good nature is taken advantage of. So WHY do I go to such lengths (that I intuitively don't 100% understand) and 'give' so much to makes things work in the office socially (to get through the day) when what's vulnerable about me is not protected but used against me. Pushing my compassion as far as it goes. I try to operate as a diplomatic friend to my work colleagues, why can't they respect me in return? because i'm different? I mentioned loads of times about my aspergers (although self-diagnosed), they don't actually believe me because I am pretty good at hiding my aspieness.

You have to stand your ground against NTs, it seems, being a really nice person in this case is not a virtue...



xyzyxx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Aug 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 526
Location: Iowa

27 Nov 2007, 10:42 am

I feel like I can only concentrate on one thing at a time... at work, I focus on work. I don't talk to anyone else unless it's necessary to ask someone a question or something



EvilKimEvil
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,671

27 Nov 2007, 11:05 am

Yes, I've had similar experiences, although people know I'm weird, no matter what I do.



krex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,471
Location: Village of the Damned

27 Nov 2007, 12:04 pm

I tend to be very trusting about assuming that every new person is a nice person.based on this assumption,I will often go out of my way to try and do more work,help them in some ways.Do unto others,etc.(I started doing this in grade school and was always gettin written up by the teachers for getting out of my seat to help other kids).What I have learned from doing this is that there are differnet kind of people....One kind will consider you weak and try and take advantage of you and resent you working harder because they think it makes them look worse.The other will praise you and sometimes recepricate...the latter is in the minority but is great to work with.The former...I usually end up getting resentful and tired of being taken advantage of and stop going out of my way to help them.

I will say,that neither kind of person seems any more interested in "being friends" as I still can't get the hang of social chit-chat and bonding with people but it is still worth having a few people who are "on my side" because I am a hard worker and they would rather work with me then a lazy person.


_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/


Lonelybonesey
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 433
Location: The teddy bears picnic of course

27 Nov 2007, 5:36 pm

WHY AM I SUCH A DRAG ON SOCIETY? IM TURNING 19 AND IV NEVER EVER HAD A JOB GIMME A JOB I WILL SWAP BOTH MY ARMS AND LEGS FOR A JOB!! ! But then again if i did that who would employ me?


_________________
just a little higher (puff puff puff) almost got a job