Coming Out of the Closet

Post Reply New Topic

Last night I was talking to Sarcastic_Name on the IRC channel, and he had mentioned that I don't bring up personal information enough; I tend to ask questions of others mostly and act like a walking encyclopedia. My life has been kind of stagnant, so there's not much to share; but, with my return to college less than a week away now, I do have something to share. I am thinking about the pros and cons of sharing this delicate information with others. Should I tell people I have Asperger's syndrome? In the past, I haven't told anyone offline aside from my family. Now I am thinking I might be better able to make friends if I tell people.

I am thinking, after talking to people for a few minutes and if they seem sympathetic and open minded, I could try telling them I have Asperger's and explaining it a little bit to them. I would ask that they not treat me differently from everyone else but that, if I do do something they find rude, insulting, weird, or whatever, to tell me nonjudgmentally at a good time so that I can learn. I will tell them that, if they think I am angry with them because they have perceived something bad, they should ask me what I meant explicitly. I will tell them I very rarely get angry with people and most likely did not mean to offend, but they should probably ask me explicitly to double check.

If people pander to my AS or treat me like I can't do anything, I won't tell others; but this seems like a good idea. Has anyone else had social success doing this?

Telling your family is probably a good idea, but refering to it as "coming out of the closet" isn't.

I haven't told anybody anything about my problems (other than hearing) so I don't know what would happen. It might generate some symptathy at first, but it may also make you more "different" to them in the long run. I don't like people I know IRL to know my weaknesses, as I prefer to project a "strong" exterior to keep the bullies away.

i should see how it goes first, neanthumain. give it at least a few days. THEN test the waters. i always think such stuff should be on a "need to know" basis.

how would it help if people knew? what are the pros and cons? have a good think about it, before you come out, cos once it's said, you can't unsay it.

No I disagree. You should indeed tell your parents that you are gay.



And when they look really shocked tell them you have aspergers syndrome.



When they look really bemused by that last one, tell them that the gay thing wasn't true. But you really do have apergers syndrome.

heheh

Having done this a couple of times, you will find that some people will tell you that you are wrong, and try to assure you that you are "fine." You will not find that experience particularly helpful.

I would say it all depends on the individual, the circumstance, and the possible benefits or risk (an ignorant reaction might do you harm ranging from the psychological to the financial).

I think you have to be confortable in the situation. I am a little unique in that I have told everyone I work closely with about my AS. This has had unexpected benifits in that others have kids or grandkids that have AS and it has given them a person they can talk with about AS.

However, it took me over a year to tell them and by that time I was very confident in their support and the fact that they care for me and would do their best to be understanding.

The other thing I want to say is that they were my friends before I told them so I do not know how it would help to build friendships. I would say you have to have very thick skin and be able to make the first joke to be able to let people know on a general basis.

I freely admit to my AS. I weird people out anyway, might as well let them know one of the reasons that i'm doing it.

No I disagree. You should indeed tell your parents that you are gay.



And when they look really shocked tell them you have aspergers syndrome.



When they look really bemused by that last one, tell them that the gay thing wasn't true. But you really do have apergers syndrome.

heheh

When I do tell my friends, it's usually online using the O.A.S.I.S. expolanation. I send them the link, and now they know why I'm so weird. I'm boring though, so no one ever really brings it up or treats me differently.

To me it doesn't seem like a good idea.

While it may be sad, I think most people are quick to label people and, be it asperger or any other condition, they just lump them all in the category of "mental ilnesses", after what they can't relate t you as they would to their peers, but can only treat you as if you were different.

Anyway, that's juste my take on it.

If you make some good friends and after sometime would like to tell them, that would be ok, but most people are still prejudiced no matter what they say.