The hymen: tips needed

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Ya, it will be cool if she doesn't have hers anymore. Haven't enquired yet, as we're rather early in the engagement, but I will. I'm just Aspie-obsessing here, I guess. But, more info about my business is always good -- that's my policy.

Last edited by Ragtime on 10 Dec 2007, 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, sorry, I misunderstood. I assumed that because you were asking about it, you knew hers to be thick.

I'd definitely suggest a trip to the gyno for evaluation, and a quick snip if it looks like it's going to cause trouble.

It hurt a lot for me too (and bled quite a bit), and I had been regularly riding horses for 10 years. I was just glad it was gone although I anticipated the pain again for the next few times.

That said, I wouldn't have wanted a doctor to have broken mine.

Seconded. If you want a pleasant wedding night, I'd really recommend that you take care of the hymen issue beforehand. There is no painless way to do it in the act.

But it's at least somewhat painless at the doctor, right? Ya, I do think we need to have it taken care of it before the wedding night, just like my vasectomy. The last thing I want to be doing on my wedding night is stressing about major issues.

I don't know if it's painless. Plenty of women don't even find normal exams painless. I don't know if most doctors will even do this... but at least you guys can ask.

"Slow and steady wins the race."

...sorry, it's going to hurt no matter how it's done.



Now...those are the only words of wisdom I have...or can remember for that matter.

Ew, the thought of a doctor taking any sharp object down there is horrible.

Either have lots and lots of foreplay before hand, or use lots of lube.

Can do.

This thread is stressing me out. LOL.

I agree and don't think there is any need to go to the doctor to get it snipped. That would hurt lots too. Perhaps just gently stretch it with your fingers (make sure you have KY Jelly or something).

breaking the hymen doesn't ensure a painless "first time". I'm sure I didn't have one for years before I lost my virginity. But some women experience a "good pain" their first time. Though my grandma said she couldn't have sex at all on her wedding night (pain), so her husband turned the rubbers into balloons and put them around the room.
We're all different, worrying about doing it right may make you too nervous. I'd concentrate on other indoor sports (foreplay) for awhile.

Ya, I've kinda had a hunch all this time that it might be something we just want to do together. I mean, I'm uber-Aspie-gentle, as well as very patient.

I guess, in that case, I'd just need to know how to prepare for clean-up. Towel(s) at the ready, right?

Anyone have any ideal methods for minimizing the mess? This is the thread in which to say so. And, what exactly should I expect, mess-wise? "Blood coming out of the vagina" is all I know.

Last edited by Ragtime on 11 Dec 2007, 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I think towels are a good sex accessory no matter what.
But it's not like there will be tons of blood or anything from this.
You are stressing out a lot. If you relax about it, it will be a lot more enjoyable for the both of you! At least you don't have to worry about condoms or STI's or that sort of thing.

I'm not feeling any stress about it, I'm just very ignorant of this. For instance, the fact that there's not much blood -- I didn't know that, so I'm glad you said something.


Very true. I'm relaxed about it -- at the same time, I have ignorance which I'm admitting. But as far as sex/foreplay, I'm very experienced, and am not worried one bit. The way both partners always win at love-making is to go at each other's pace at all times. Never set some high goal that you two "have to accomplish" together -- just enjoy being together.
Sex isn't a competitive sport.

talking to someone who waited until they were married because they were just too chicken, no sweat. I cried the first time i had sex. I look back now, and think that it wasnt so bad. If i knew then what i know now, i would have been a lot more relaxed than i was. You just have to be gentle and kind. I know, that once it was over, there was a little bit of blood, but not enough to write home about, just enough to ruin a towel. If you havent done it yet, then dont worry. I know i spent nights awake in fear of how it would hurt and if i was going to like sex. the secret is to RELAX its not unbearable. Thats all she needs to know. Nobody told me about that. They told me it would hurt but i had no reference as to know what kind of pain i was dealing with. Its not so bad. In fact, it only last a few seconds and then it feels ok. It is kind of like the equal of pain of stubbing a toe or a stitch in your side when you run. sharp but quick. You are very fortunate. The more relaxed you are and patient, the better it is. if she has any worries or conceerns she is more thatn welcome to ask me about it.