Can we AS sufferers reproduce with a clean conscience?

Post Reply New Topic

Too much credit is given to the term NT on this board to define all that is perfect and good. Aspies can be good, aspies can be bad. Nt's can be good, they can be bad. Then you can have fluctuants of both who go from one side to the middle to the next.

These gene pool extremists are such hypocrites. If they were not then please explain why there are so many people envious of those that can do a certain task and do it well to the point of sabotage?


There are creative geniuses
There are intelligent geniuses
There are social geniuses

Only a complete moron would truely believe this world would be better off full of social geniuses. Who would their advisors be? Where would all of the techies go? Who would fix their problems? Who would do detail work?

Social geniuses how they operate is that they pick up on new words to throw out that they've learned by listening to the intelligent types talking all day but when you ask questions it turns into....hrrmmm ummm....hrrrmmm

They know how to manipulate others into thinking they are smart and then on top of that underneath it all they feel threatened by those that really do know what they are talking about so to cover up their own insecurities, they belittle the other person and make that person feel as though there is something wrong with them.

It's all apart of the domination and keeping certain social geniuses up high and intellectual geniuses lower and then creative geniuses at the very bottom. The intellectual geniuses seem more tame than the creative geniuses.

Gene pool extremists, get a life, get a clue, quit pretending you have a clue and focus on your life instead of trying to control others lives. It's going to bite you in the end.

I never got married, but not because of an awareness of my Asperger's autism. I had no way of explaining myself until April of this year. I simply have never had any success in relationships.

Having kids is, to some extent, always a roll of the dice. There are no guarantees in this life. Obviously, it is up to each individual, no matter their neurology, to decide whether to "reproduce."

My concern is that the issue remains a matter of personal choice. Beyond that, and it becomes eugenics.

Uhm, I don't suffer from anything and I'm certainly not defective, so why shouldn't I have children?

I'll have two, to replace myself and my partner, and that's it.

If if I were to say autism is a defect and it makes me a defective person, which it does indeed in respect to the majority of society and what human nature decided upon as healthy, I don't dislike it. I just... don't. I mean, I like myself and one part of it happens to be autistic - and I can freely say I don't mind if it's defective or that it "imprisoned" me as a child as those big mighty organisations like to put it.
I wouldn't want to prevent a child from living because it could have autism. It's not the same, of course it's not and I'm not saying that someone is a murderer or anything, no, don't get me wrong - but out of the same reasons children who're seen as defective are killed as embryos or even later on in life as children, teens and adults. People don't want to have defective people. I don't want to refrain from having children, because I don't want to busy myself a lifetime with fearing that my child may be miserable - and I may have this fear only because I myself feel miserable still after a miserable life or other events. But I'm not miserable, no matter what happens. I love myself, even the autistic part and thus I can love the imperfect, the defective, the disorder and have no problem calling it all that.
So, that's my logic and how I live everyday. My friend says she can't understand because it would be crazy to love yourself. I don't know.

Babies don't remain babies all their lives. By the time you've deciphered what their nonverbal language means, it will have changed and you'll have to decipher some new meanings. And again. And again. And again and again many times, throughout your child's development. Of course the complexity grows as a child grows.

What a disgusting question! Since when did we aspies become inferior people?!?!...shame on those with the arrogance to even think they have the right to make such judgments!! !!

I'm Aspie. I don't think that it would be suitable for me to have children, for reasons that I have already explained. I don't see myself as inferior, either. Why would the two have to be connected?

Does anyone else here feel the same way?

Absolutely. I think it's a perfectly reasonable question.

I had kids before I knew anything about AS and it was having kids that started me on my search for "what's wrong with me?" in the first place. I have a lot of trouble coping and relating and I didn't want my kids to suffer because of it.

Now I have three, I'm beginning to see the root of my problems and I frequently ask myself if I would ever want to have more. I love kids, mine and any, but considering what I've learned about myself, my capacity for stress, my abhorrence of interruptions and my ridiculous temper, I guess it would be wise to move onto the next phase of my life. I've seen how I react to my children and, to be honest, I wish it were better. From what I see here, I'm also on the emotional and physical side of AS, so I can definitely understand why some on the other side of the spectrum might not have much interest in kids.

However valid the question, the use of the words "clean conscience" in the title might seem a bit extreme as though implying that all Aspies would be wrong to reproduce and I certainly don't think that is the case. I'm pretty sure my father has AS and I think he did a pretty good job of raising us. The worst I ever saw him do was put his fist through the wall during a fight with my sister, but it just so happened that it was the perfect place to hang a picture. On the other hand, I really enjoyed sitting over his shoulder watching him teach himself Japanese and Modern Greek (he already knew Ancient Greek), working with him in the library, and having him give me drawing lessons. He's a pretty interesting guy. I don't know how much he helped me to cope emotionally, but I still don't know if he's even aware of his condition yet, so I really can't blame him for anything. As a role model, he wasn't too shabby over all.

Maybe the OP was referring to the suffering Aspies generally endure from social rejection. Would it be morally wrong to inflict such pain and suffering on your child knowingly? Again, I think it's an interesting question, but I'd have to say, no. No kid is born perfect. I mean, would it be wrong for ugly people to have children because society is so cruel? It's the same thing. I've had my share of depressive episodes and failed friendships, but I still think it is worth it. Everyone suffers in one way or another.

The bottom line is that if an Aspie wants to have kids, is willing to make the sacrifices and is aware of his/her condition, my personal opinion is that it wouldn't be wrong at all. He might even be a fantastic parent and help his kid cope better than he ever did himself. And if you don't want to, nobody's going to force you.

Not if it's an Aspie child, and there's a very good chance it will be. Anyway they're children, if you want one how can you pass it up? This isn't like buying a Car that you can do any time you want.

AS sufferers?
I dont suffer from anything. i dont think As is there to be suffered.
Anybody can make bad parents. just coz u have As dosnt meen you will make a bad parent.
I dont know im Only 16 but i am very good with younger children and babies. I babysit my 3 nephews sometimes, Aged 9, 3 and 1. And am very good with them, as well as being good with my 3 year old cousin and 8 month yr old cousin.
I hope to have children one day. If they do turn out to have As i will teach them it is a good thing.
xx

Babysitting, dear, is one thing. The stress of having your own--which can often mean not getting any rest and not having a chance to escape even for a moment, for years on end--is quite another. For people with issues coping with stress, loud noises, major disruptions of routine, etc. parenthood can (in certain cases) be extra challenging for those with AS. Even NTs are typically astonished at the level of stress involved, especially in the early years.

One of my biggest problems is having to talk constantly. Although I'm really good at talking to myself, I'm generally a quiet person. I don't like talking, except in very rare cases. I actually feel tension just from having to open my mouth and form a thought into words. Now, I've had to adjust to giving non-stop instructions, "Do this", "Don't do that", "Get your finger out of your nose", "Stop hitting your sister", etc., etc... I find myself tripping over my tongue all the time. You have to figure out how to explain even the painfully obvious, in simple language, one step at a time, giving gems of advice along the way, "It'd be easier if you took your head out first..." And you can never be in all places at once. It's not always so easy.

oh, and then there's the SCREAMING...

As much as I don't like to deal with kids I would rather have a family than be lonely for the rest of my life. The genetic defects are probably recessive; if I marry someone who doesn't have Asperger's there's less likelyhood of having it recur. However if I marry someone with Asperger's or other Autism disorder, then Carlos Mencia's "If Dee marries a Dee, then the children will be Deet dee dee" is pretty much the case.

That's when you stick them under a cold shower (not if they are a baby of course).

Personally I won't have any children, my dad and his dad had the same problems as me, and I would much rather pass on a message or some music than my genes. I think I'm meant to give something to this planet, but not my seed.

I don't see it as any less moral or any more questionable than anyone else having a child nowdays though, none of us get to judge.