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Smelling of elderberries no less.

That sucks. I'm sorry for you.

What is traumatic for one person registers as nothing, to another. Maybe it means you must have a great deal of depth to what happened,
that you might not be able to get through on your own.

I guess since you have an artist's mind, you have more depth to how you perceive people compared to someone who has, perhaps, a business mind.

Maybe keep talking about it when it comes up, to someone around you, or here, or to a therapist...
different outlets might help drain it out of your system and give meaning to what happened (over time).



I know ranting here was v good, as often people either helped, or at least didn't dismiss (could just ignore if not relevant). Some people helped delve into aspects and put things into words, then I could get those words out to a therapist...

NT's might not always get that, but a trained therapist could.
NTs who are not trained might even do damage by invalidating and dismissing things.


Better Help.com the therapist called Karlee Carter I would completely recommend, if you want to try. She does online counseling in a very good way.

https://www.caredash.com/doctors/karlee ... s-omaha-ne

She's not imposing, she's just says one or two points that help more than what other therapists can't do over many sessions. But everyone is different so I can only think of that.
maybe someone else in your life who knows you well, will be more helpful.

Random thing: I like this lady
I've been watching her videos for about 8 or 9 years, the same ones, once in a while.
I like the colours and calm voice.


I followed this 3 years ago, and my XH's friend said 'wow' as soon as she saw me because she never saw me look nice before.
I looked nice before but the time she knew me was when it was a 'separation' for months and months -
even though he was refusing to leave the house.

I wish i never met you.

Traffic

element 115

Cosmo

There is so much the scientists still don't know about ice.

When 1 person lies, nobody is safe
When 10000 lie, to be honest is a death sentence

А как первый обман - да на заре туман.
А второй обман - закачался пьян.
А как третий обман - он ночи черней,
он ночи черней, он войны страшней.

Today is my anniversary, one year on WP. Thank you all for your tolerance of my undisciplined train of thought

even google translate doesn't make this understandable to me:

And as the first deception - yes, at the dawn of fog.
And the second deception - swayed drunk.
And as the third deception - he’s blacker nights,
he is blacker nights, he is worse than war

??

My unprofessional translation:

The first lie - fog at the dawn.
The second lie - drunken babble.
The third lie - blacker than night.
Blacker than night. Scarier than war.

I don't get it still. Sorry. Maybe my brain is shutting down

Or maybe Russian poetry of Soviet times needs a lot of cultural context to understand.
First two lies are just casual - but the third lie blackens your soul, there is no return from the world of deception you enter with it.

well if most people's souls are dimmed/reduced from that, it makes them more powerful to lie. strength in numbers.