Not following the rules

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I wonder if anyone didn't follow the rules when there was no logical explanation. I remember when I was a kid, if a grown up or a another kid said not to do something, I'd always ask why because there always had to be a explanation to everything. Id they wouldn't answer the question, I'd go ahead and do it not knowing something go wrong.


Like if my mother told me not to leave the yard, I'd ask why, and she says "because I said so. Don't leave the yard."
But I leave the yard anyway because I couldn't understand why my mother told me to not leave it. Then fore I know it, I hear my name being called so I come home and Mom is yelling at me and sending me to my room for disobeying and in my head I think that's the reason why I can't leave the yard. She gets mad.

Even rules had to make sense too. If they didn't make any sense, I wouldn't follow them.


I don't know if this had to do with Aspergers or not. I can remember someone posting an article to a page that talks about different kind of aspies and one of them was logical ones. They need to have an explanation to everything or they won't follow the rules. I was that way when I was little. Then I started to follow rules nonetheless even if I didn't understand why it was that way. I don't want to get into trouble.
In my report cards from elementary school it says I don't follow the rules very well.

I wish my son would start following the rules. He's 9. Before we go out in public, I have to go over a long list of rules. He's heard them all before. If I forget one of them, that's the rule he will violate.

You can't say, "Be good in the store." It has to be a very detailed list....no spinning in the aisles, no pushing carts into people, stay with me, do not ask for candy.....etc......it gets tedious for both of us.

Does he think the rules change every time you go out in public so you always have to repeat them again?


My mother always had to tell me "Not today not tomorrow, not the next day, not the next month, not next year, never" because everyday I always thought things were different.

I made it up as I went along. If it didn't make sense, I figured out what did make sense to me, and went with that. then got confused at the consequences. I can remember arguing my mother out of a few rules because my argument was stronger, or at least more persistent. I questioned everything, and still do. Lots of fun for someone who works in a government office, wher some of the rules truly don't make sense.

Great post, Spokane_Girl!

Thanks Spokane_Girl. I really did not think of that possibility. I will try to find out. Wow, that's a revelation for me. That would explain a lot if that's the case.

Yeah, I used to need rules explained to me, even if I'd follow them regardless. I'd normally assume my parents were giving me rules for good reason, but teachers at school? Not a chance. Them, I'd challenge, ask how, why, everything, but not if everyone was watching. No drawing attention to myself - in most cases, it was enough to know that I would bring attention to myself by breaking the rules to not do so. Where that wasn't applicable, I needed a good reason.

The same applies to "rules" as it does to "instructions".

Some people I work with would get mad at trying to "reinvent the wheel" because I need to know why something is done to be content with doing it. Of course, my investigative nature to find out "why" usually leads to avenues the sheeple never even consider.

You should have seen the angry look on my reviewer's face when I told her three different ways to do the task she asked for, and the way she demanded it be done was not very efficient. After turning nearly purple, she nearly screamed that there is ONLY ONE WAY, HER WAY!! I was fired the next day for incompetancy and insubordination. People are so frappin' irrational..... and stupid.

If anyone's got kids like this (or kids, period!) "da rules" should be written down and the list ALWAYS followed. Kids appreciate the consistency and honesty of not messing with their heads by changing the rules.


You could even put 'em on a business card and hand it over whenever necessary.

I used to be destructive and slightly violent as a kid.
I still don't understand etiquette and often embarras people around me. Like yesterday when I drank a pint of cider in 15 minutes; nobody has explained to me why alcohol is drunk slowly. I didn't get drunk at all. I felt normal. But according to my Mum a pint of cider should take 45 minutes. Wtf I would get bored after 45 minutes of waiting to drink my cider. I also haven't fully learnt table manners, and due to my co-ordination, I often come home with at least one food stain on myself.

If I understand the reason for the rule (and it is logical), I HAVE to follow it. If it's illogical, I will not follow it.

I was a 'why?' kid, too.

"Take your dishes off the table."
"Why?"
"Vacuum the living room."
"Why?"
"Do your homework."
"Why?"
"Feed the cats."
"Why?"



Thankfully, I've figured out some of those things since then.

If some rules had been made more apparant (going way back), life would've been easier for both me and some people. It's frustrating to know that people are frustrated with you and that you have somehow offended them, and don't know exactly what.

I always had a similar interest going on, i.e. I always felt that telling someone NOT to do X SHOULD make a healthy sane human being go... "Hang on, why? Explain!".

I usually don't ask though and try to figure out the rules for myself but I definitely am far more in favour of understanding a rule than following it blindly.

Just to add: if people would tell me that I'm annoying them, I most certainly wouldn't. I don't know why some people think I do some things on purpose, just to annoy.

I need to have things explained.... so that when i inevitably forget, i can derive from first principles.

I hated it when people wouldn't explain things... all I wanted to know was why, could't figure out what was wrong with that.

EXACTLY!! ! That reflects the rigid thinking style typical of many Aspies, including me.

However, I've learned the hard way that this approach does not work well either with authoritarian types (usually I'm the only one who resists obeying illogical rules) or with sheeple (usually I'm the only one steadfastly obeying logical rules).