Am I the only aspie who's too picky for his own good?

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When you're asking for more than you would be willing to be yourself.

Settle? The question is, would someone have to settle to be with you? Are you someone's dream guy?

If you are really interested in meeting someone for you, you'll need to make sure that you would be the right guy for her. Check your criteria and see if you can meet up to it. If you're not up to your own standards it's time for personal change and/or a paradigm shift.

Would looking for a liberal, South Park-loving Aspie woman be considered picky?

Tim

I think being picky is totally fine. Why bother with having a relationship that you don't think will make you happy? But I think its important to drop all your rules and go more on gut instinct as to whether you're attracted enough to this person and whether you're compatible enough. You'll probably find yourself going for most of the same things but you're still keeping your options open?

I am not picky and you should not since you are single searching for a gf and I know how this is hard for an aspie.
Girls are naturally too picky and much picker than males ...remember that, would you like to burn all chances by being too picky too?
This would be stupidity, you can have some few preferences such "ie. I prefer her shorter or thiner than you" but believe me rare the girls anyways who would date a shorter or thinner guy than themselves , so if you are not a typical attractive or girls magnet then don't be picky since you won't be picked by too many girls. In such situation, by putting a large requirements' list in you head, then you might be burning your only few chances for love without even knowing it.


A male can only be picky comfortably when they are rich or famous or drop dead gorgeous or super social , such guys who have so much options that they don't even need to worry by being too picky.

Why you think most girls are very picky? Because they usually large number of selections. And I am sure that you already noticed in life that the more pretty the girl is the more she is picky , why? Because simply the more the girl is pretty the more she has potential bfs to select from . An attractive male/female can afford to be too picky without the risk by being singles for life ....it's not the same case for unattractive and aspies guys since they don't have that much potential mates to select from , so they would risk in having a loneliness forever. (supposedly that aspie guys are usually unattractive to most girls).


A smart shy, unattractive, geek or aspie male that doesn't have such large nb of potential gfs to select from should be opportunist...not picky. Yes , here I said it ....opportunist. This would be the smart way for someone like you.

The key is what you are being picky about. Does each criterion really matter all that much? Is it a reasonable means of selection or exclusion?

I've always been picky, but not too long ago I quickly realized that some of the things I was being picky about were not merely unreasonable, but silly. I had this notion of "exactly" what I needed that didn't make as much sense as I had initially thought. When I found someone that didn't perfectly meet all of those expectations and "requirements" I had, it quickly became clear to me that some of them were not worth keeping. Some of them, I had made the requirements based on my own insecurities that I hadn't yet come to terms with. Others, in the grand scheme of things they just didn't matter to me as much as I once thought. I'm not saying settle for anything, far from it. I found someone very special, and had I blindly stuck to some of the unimportant and poorly made requirements I had initially set, I wouldn't be so lucky as to have her in my life now.

I think I kind of went in circles there, so I'll try to condense it and make it more clear. >_< Being picky isn't a bad thing, and it is important to have standards. Just make sure that what you are asking for is truly important to you, or you might miss out on someone wonderful.

QFT

Hopelessly picky here.

That's a whole 'nother subject. If I don't like someone then it doesn't matter if I'm the right guy for them, I won't want to be in a relationship with them. Besides, I can't know whether or not I'm the right guy for someone unless we're talking about a specific person here and there is no specific person, that's the whole problem, there isn't anyone I'm all that crazy about. That said I'm always trying to better myself and not be a hypocrite.



In some cases it is; in some cases it's a bit stupid, but I can't help it. For example I really more or less have my heart set on having a gothic girlfriend--not the cardboard cutout cookie cutter definition but a girl who at least had some identification with the subculture and had the look down. Or what of other appearance-related things? I'm not attracted to ugly girls but their ugliness, by all logic, shouldn't matter that much. It just does. And what of "similar taste in music"? I'd want to date a girl who liked the same bands as me, but I KNOW two goth girls who like the same bands as me (and are both very hot) and I don't like them like that because I'm not at all into their personalities. Yet it's still something I want. The thing is no matter how silly something I'm picky about is I don't know how to make myself stop thinking it's important.



It's not like telling me I shouldn't be picky can make me be less picky, though. That's the whole thing.

I've learned one thing.

Not to be picky.

it works out.


My family on the other hand..........they think I should have a wonderful girl, who is a Christian, who believes in God, who goes to church......yada yada.

I'm a believer and whatnot, I call myself a Christian, but I'm the type who takes a more open view to the bible and whatnot, and I did for four months date a very wonderful young woman who professed faith, but didn't go to church because of her issues with the church. She and I got along fabulously, of course there a few things not worth repeating that she and I did while dating which I'm not telling here, not that it matters. What matters is that what you search for is what you want, not what society tells you that you should have. If I went by what my parents said, i'd be single for the rest of my life trying to find a girl who is.......well lets put this way, anal retentive and norma. I want someone who has personality, spunk, isn't afraid to curse every once in a while, who has a sense of what she wants in life, is playful, is romantically inclined to break the barriers of love and sexuality, is out there and doesn't care about what she looks like. That's the girl that I dated for four months, and who I'm still in love with, and who, after several attempts and break ups, we're on hold for a bit til summer when I can devote more time and energy to the relationship.

So all I have to say to you Ver, is that you let your heart, not your mind do the looking, it will tell you what you need.

How can one with no heart do the looking?

ever hear of a metaphor?