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mikibacsi1124
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01 Sep 2005, 12:36 am

Looking at this site has made me realize that I'm even less of a typical Aspie than I thought. In fact, it seems like I have a lot of traits that people seem to associate with NT's - and they look down on NT's because of those traits. It just seems that my interests, tastes in music/TV/movies/books/etc, school performance, and overall outlook on life seems to mirror my peers more than it mirrors most of the people on this site. And this actually scares me, because I've been proud to be an Aspie - proud to be someone who is different from the norm.

So when I see people here being cynical about everyday expressions and conventions, looking down at people for using cliches, being very interested and proficient in math/science/computers, actually enjoying reading books, and having obscure tastes in music/movies/etc, it just makes me feel, well, inferior. I just can't help but worry that after all these years of hearing what society thinks of as "normal", I've started to think that way myself.

Now, I definately have some Aspie traits, no two ways about it. But they all seem to be the more negative ones - social awkwardness, clumsiness, lack of "common sense", etc. I don't know. Maybe this means it's time for me to seek out some new interests, and learn more about life. Because, gosh darn it, I don't want to be an NT!!



anbuend
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01 Sep 2005, 1:15 am

It's both possible and okay to be an aspie and be different from people here (or from the people here you're noticing). Others have voiced a sense of difference too -- in different areas, but still being different from the aspie stereotype.

Also some of what you're seeing is probably a social group forming here that has certain norms, and those norms result from whatever social dynamics are going on here, but may not be the same for other autistic people. They then may be the loudest or most obvious, but I'm pretty sure there are others here who don't like reading books (especially with the amount of people who are both dyslexic and autistic!), or who don't look down on people for using cliches, or other things.

For that matter, despite it being a mostly-autistic group, people still might be afraid to say "I'm not like that" sometimes, even when they aren't.


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aspiegirl2
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01 Sep 2005, 1:16 am

I think that this is happening to me as well. Like at band camp today, I was just doing things that everyone else did, like follow everyone and not actually think of certain instructions, or not stand at attention the whole time (I put my horn down not to look like an idiot; sometimes I just don't know when to put my horn down except if the drum major says so). Sometimes I think it's the Asperger trait that we don't want to look stupid; it could also be an NT trait, since nobody wants to look stupid. I hope too that I won't become just another normal part of the world (in this sense, normal means to be an NT), or to just go 'with the crowd'. I've never wanted it, nor will I need being just a part of the crowd, or wear all the popular stuff, and do the stuff that's popular but not always right. I'm proud to be an Aspie, since I know that I'm different. But of course, I don't want to think that I'm superior over NT's. Being an Aspie is sure special, though.


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AbominableSnoCone
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01 Sep 2005, 7:13 am

I don't have much to say on the matter right now because its 8 in the @#@@#%#$% morning; just wanted to say that I've thought the same thing myself sometimes


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AbominableSnoCone
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01 Sep 2005, 7:51 am

Oh and you're from NJ too huh? Nice to meet you, I'm from NJ but am currently studying in Rochester, NY


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NeantHumain
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01 Sep 2005, 8:41 am

I think you'll notice some people's lifestyles differ from yours because of one reason: posing. A lot of people nowadays think it's cool to have Asperger's syndrome and will say, "Oh yeah, I'm teh aspie you kn0w and wuv!! !" Of course, they're NTs who act NT and think NT. Tan their hides! Perhaps, though, you're the NT? Hmmm?



eamonn
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01 Sep 2005, 9:32 am

Excuse me what's the problem here? Being a popular NT is the social model everyone should be aiming towards not being obsessed with being special or different. I cant believe there are people who want to join the loser's club by choice and not necessity.



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01 Sep 2005, 10:06 am

I truly enjoy being different and eccentric. But I don't like being treated or feeling like a freak. Being ridiculed or-- sometimes even worse-- ignored is never a good experience.

My eccentricities can make me feel freakish depending on the person or persons I'm around-- especially those who are less forgiving of differences. But by and large, I love this about me and am glad I also enjoy spending time to myself. If I hated being alone, I would likely be fairly depressed.


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Prometheus
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01 Sep 2005, 10:12 am

You meet one aspie. . . .you met one aspie.

They are all quite different, although there are a few constants.

Me? To make a long story short, I just have some physical brain abnormalities that in some respects looks like AS. Some of you I feel idenitical to, others are quite foreign. I wouldn't worry too much about "not being equal" to others unless you are pretty sure you can't be AS for diagonstic reasons (preferably done by some one who knows what they are doing) rather than word of mouth on the site. The "You may be an aspie if. .. ." thread is more of an attempt at humor by exaggerating some aspects (that not all AS/non NT folks may have) and truthfully reporting others that are extreme anyways. Myself, I don't really apply strongly to more than maybe 1/4 of whats in the thread.


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spacemonkey
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01 Sep 2005, 10:15 am

There are a variety of opinions and interests expressed here. Often I will only speak up if I can relate to something being said. I'm sure there are plenty of people here who feel the same as you.



DrizzleMan
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01 Sep 2005, 1:14 pm

There's nothing wrong with being an NT or an aspie (not that there's that clear a dividing line...) Just be you - you can't make yourself something you're not, not without sacrificing your happiness.

Take what you can from these forums, but if other topics interest you which aren't discussed here, look for websites which address those.

Looking down on others isn't all it's cracked up to be. All you can see is their head and shoulders. Boring...



eamonn
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01 Sep 2005, 1:28 pm

Dont take this the wrong way but i am thinking lots of things at the same time and change my mind quite a lot so i dont know who i am and hence dont know how to be me. Anyway sometimes i recognise that i am being out of order and try to work against it so sometimes i think it is better for me not to be me.



DrizzleMan
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01 Sep 2005, 3:27 pm

Sorry, the phrase 'be yourself' is probably just a cliche. But the way I understand it is, don't compare yourself to others and don't think that every difference you find means there's something wrong with you.



AbominableSnoCone
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01 Sep 2005, 4:27 pm

Sorta along those lines: Its pretty hard to judge aspieness because a lot of us have been pressured/willing to jump through more hoops in order to fit in with NTs and a lot of that behavior doesn't even register as being separate from yourself anymore. There may be people who are just 'pretending' to have AS but going on a witch hunt for people who don't have it is not a good idea... Community forum sites like this, support groups and generally improving psychiatry (although I wonder sometimes) help to form the idea of what an aspie is and everything will eventually sort itself out... I hope


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eamonn
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01 Sep 2005, 5:23 pm

DrizzleMan wrote:
Sorry, the phrase 'be yourself' is probably just a cliche. But the way I understand it is, don't compare yourself to others and don't think that every difference you find means there's something wrong with you.


Yes il try to but when im pretty useless at most things its hard not to judge myself unfavourably.



hecate
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01 Sep 2005, 7:13 pm

most of the books that i've read about autism say that people with ASDs do not have a sense of humour. but lots of people who post on here are very witty and comically gifted. so just because someone doesn't fit the stereotype of AS it doesn't mean that their difficulties are any less real.

and i have a confession to make: most of the time i can understand implied meanings! there, i said it! call the aspie-police- there is an intruder on the premises!