Messenger and Random Harassment

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Anyone else get this? People randomly add me to their messenger without either asking me or having seen my email listed as a way to contact me via messenger (the latter issue having been dealt with after people decided that since my MSN e-mail was made public, it was therefore an invitation to badger me with inane chatter, even when I tried to end the conversation- I no longer list my msn email anywhere that I can remember).

I just got someone randomly talking to me on messenger. My first response was something to the effect that I did not know who this person was, did not care to know, was talking to my mother and was listed as "busy" for a reason. My second response was far less tactful; the last one was explosive. This was because this person kept arguing with me, feeling that since I existed on the net and was on messenger and they had messenger and I was on messenger, I should feel up to talking to anyone and everyone who decided to bug me. NO. This is NOT how it works! If you want my messenger, ASK, and be prepared to have me never talk to you even if I add you because I have a freaking LIFE, and sometimes I am only talking to one person on messenger. ((One person did ask, by the way, and you did the right thing, thank you immensely, this is NOT about you.))

There's this HF kid at school I added to my AIM and now am on invisible constantly because he does not know when to leave me alone- basically, all the time, since he talks about random stuff I do not care AT ALL about. He does this in person as well, and everyone else- he is KNOWN for it. I cannot wait until he graduates in all honesty because the day that happens he goes straight to my blocked list. I don't want to piss him off or upset him because I have to deal with him IRL. If I did not, I would be on AIM more often and not on invisible. AGH.

Anyway, if you find out my MSN or any other messenger name: If I am busy, or away, do not start a conversation with me. If you do start a conversation with me when I am away or otherwise, and I say I do not want to talk, this means I DO NOT WANT TO TALK. It also probably means I have closed the window so if you feel the dire need to respond only do so once because I will close the window again. This is good netiquette anyway, if someone doesn't want to talk, don't contionue to pester them explaining why you wanted to talk to them, asking them about their clever screen name, etc etc.

There's a slight but distinct chance that whoever was just bugging me is actually a member here. I honestly don't care. If it's you: Well, you figured out where you know me from.

Well, you guys can bug me on AIM all you want.

Amen to that, Serissa. Invisible status is my best friend. I've been messaged by random people (once it was a guy in India, once a guy in New York) even though I never post my IM info and only share it with people I already know or like. Drives me nuts. I don't have time for random conversations.

Hmmm

I try to avoid IMing any one person too much, because I don't want to be a nuisance to them. Sometimes I get carried away, and I encourage anyone I chat with to tell me if I'm IMing too much.

Wow...only *one* person asked...eeek!! Generally, I assume if people have their messenger nicks listed in their profile, they're okay with being IMed by random people. I don't care if random people IM me...I've actually encountered several of my favorite contacts this way, LOL!! if they're annoying me constantly I'll just block them. But otherwise I think it's polite to ask. I'm sorry you had some negative experiences, Serissa.

In MSN messenger, you can solve that problem by goig to Tools/Options/Privacy and Tools/Options/Security.

Thanks, Sean, I'd forgotten about that. Yahoo has the same thing under Messenger > Preferences > Ignore list.

I was being assaulted with IM spams a couple of years ago, but never anything like this Well maybe one time, but that was when someone I knew had left their nick logged in at a cybercafe.

Same here. I usually try to IM people sparingly, at least when I'm first getting to know them. In fact, I remember when I got into a minor argument (not related to this) online with someone, and I was actually relieved when they said that I rarely IM them. Of course, with a lot of people, if you ask them whether you IM them too often, they'll tell you what they think you want to hear.

That said, as I implied before, I have no problem with people IMing me incessantly, as long as I have somewhat of an idea of who they are, and they're not being blatantly rude.

I think I've only ever been bugged like that on MSN once or twice. On Yahoo though, it's almost 3 a week... It was WAY more than that when I had my profile set to Female...

GA

This is true. I still wish people would learn messenger manners, though.

Block them - and leave it at that.

MSN isn't exactly an important part of life, I mean if you don't even know these people just block them and forget about them.

Not many people would be familiar with "MSN Manners" If you list your email, people will add it.

If someones email is listed, I will NEVER ask their permission, I'll just add it anyway, because, if they don't want to talk to mea it's easy enough to just block and delete me.

What gets me is I initially did not want to block them; I may have been willing to talk to them at another time as they apparently wanted to talk to me, but I do not want someone with no "messsenger boundaries" on my allow list. Then I just lost it.

I have always wished that when you warn people on AIM they would recieve a severe electric shock, however, since this system has not been implemented and is unlikely to be anytime soon, if people are harrassing you I suggest that you stab them.

I simply disable ALL sounds, then wander off and ignore my PC.... That way, if I don't reply, people assume I'm AFK